Posted February 27, 2022 / Arabella Mudd

"Mr. Booth was an assassin, dear. He killed our wonderful leader, Abraham Lincoln. He is probably in Hell as we speak. There is no purgatory for men such as he. However, I am not to judge. Am I?"

The little Virginian girl was strangely fascinated by Wilkes Booth: he resonated with her, perhaps, because he was willing to do just about anything to be famous.

"Oh, I don't know, he might have repented of his crime, just before them sojers shot him." suggested Arabella "But you are right about Mr Lincoln, and he was the idol of my Pappy, cause he was a abolitionist and used to work for the underground railway, 'fore he got found out and had to high tail it out of Monroe. Well, my Mammy and my Pappy never did agree on much, that's fer sure. But going back to Mr Lincoln, I think the saddest thing of all is... well, he never did get to see how that there play ended, did he?"

Just then a voice from the saloon arose. "Barkeep! Another drink for me and the lady!"

Maude winced. It was Horace. Oh you fool! she thought.

Arabella heard it too, and winced. How quickly were a chuckle-headed idiot and his money parted. "So, you was gonna tell me about your famous ancestors" she reminded Maude, to distract her from the painful words leaking from the saloon.

"Well dear, my Great Grandfather, Samuel Abbott, was a soldier in Roger's Rangers, the famous Indian Fighters. He was with Major Rogers during the Battle on Snowshoes. That was up near Lake George. And he was on the trek to the Indian village of St. Francis, killed them all. Then he almost died on the trip back."

"Still, I bet that taught them dirty redskins, huh?" nodded Arabella earnestly.

She shook her head sadly. "Some of them resorted to Cannibalism because they were starving. I don't know why the good Lord puts men through tests like that."

This was a subject of great interest to Arabella, and she didn't mind saying so.

"Guess what, Mrs Potee, sometimes I imagine if we all ran out of food in Kalispell and I had to become a cannonball and eat someone, and I could choose anybody at all to eat, who would I pick? You ever play that game? Oh, it's heaps of fun. Like, I wouldn't pick Mammy Cookie, well because I love her, but also because I don't prefer the dark meat on a chicken, and Jemima Wigfall'd be too chewy. Caroline... Miss Mundee in there... I reckon she'd be nice to eat because she's white as a chicken breast and she's pretty well marinated a lot of the time." It was probably somewhat indicative of Arabella's other appetites that all the people she considered eating were of the female persuasion.

Posted February 27, 2022 / Caroline Mundee

"Sure do, sir. Sure do. Hell, I'd like to ditch my homestead and find a job in town! That way I can just cross the street and treat myself to this red eye!" All this was said loudly.

"We only sell the best stuff," Caroline smiled, that was a lie - their range of beer and liquor went from expensive high end stuff to just plain awful but cheap.

"Tell me, er .. Mr. Potee.." began Frank.

"Horace! Please." Potee begged.

"All right, Horace." Frank corrected. "You look like a man of the world, one who doesn't need to be coddled by anyone. Do you ever partake in games of chance?"

Caroline knew where this was going, it was a typical setup.

"Miss Caroline?" Horace asked the star of the Star Dust. "Do I look like I can manage my way around a poker table?"

"Horace," she nodded, "Ain't that hard, hon. You just gotta walk on over there and sit down. But as for poker, I don't know the game, don't play it. Figure it's a game for menfolk. "

Posted March 3, 2022 / Arabella Mudd

Maude shook her head. "I'm sure that was the last thing on his mind, young lady. And that poor Mrs. Lincoln. What she must have endured." (Women carrying burdens was at the top of her mind that day.)

Arabella nodded glumly. "And now she's as mad as a hatter." she intoned. "Still, least she got to see the end of the play!"

The conversation moved on over potted family history and even the idea of cannibalism and who would make the tastiest meal in town.

Mrs. Potee's hand flew up to her mouth, covering it, preventing even the words she heard from slipping past her lips.

"Oh dear!" she finally managed. "You should wipe those thoughts clean from your mind, Ana ..er Arabella. I would rather give up the ghost than too dabble in anything as horribly evil as cannonball,..er. cannibalism." The girl had her quite flummoxed.

Arabella shrugged "Why not? It don't say nuthin in the Bible about not eating folks. In fact, Book of Genesis says Everything that lives and moves about will be food for you. Course, it also says you mustn't spill any human blood or eat the kids, but if you was careful... Hmmm, nobody'd wanna eat me though, I'm all just skin an' bone!" she declared, looking at her arms curiously.

"Anyhow, I onct heard that in fancy restaurants you can get something called 'steak tartan' - guess it must be from Scotland - and that's nuthin but plain raw meat, and you can just eat it like that, and ever time I think on that, I wanna sneak up on my friend Caroline and take a great big tasty bite outta her..." but Mrs Potee interrupted her at that point with an inspired call:

"Walk in the path righteousness. Stay on the right side, sister. Stay on the right side of the road. Look out for old man Satan. He's on the wrong side wait'n" She paused and giggled. "I did a rhyme. Oh lord, you're a singer. You could put that to music."

Arabella laughed "Aw, you're a hoot, Mrs P. You're gonna put Stephen Foster out o' business. Oh, 'cept I guess he's already out of business, what with him being dead an all, too. Wonder if his wife's in the mad house, long with Missus Mary Todge Lincoln?!"

Maude suddenly felt dizzy and her arm shot out putting her hand flat on the tabletop.

The short Virginian girl gasped "Oh heck, you all right Mrs Potee?!!"

Posted March 5, 2022 / Caroline Mundee

Even her boss seemed to make an attempt to talk him out of it, that being joining a card game. But the man had been imbibing too much too fast.

Horace straightened. "Why I'm one of the shrewdest card players this side of the Missouri River." I've played my way from St. Joe to Dodge City to Bozeman. I've sat across from Doc Holliday until he emptied his last dollar out of his pockets."

Caroline would have bet her last dime that was all horseshit but did not let on. If the man wanted to play the fool, wasn't her place to stop him.

"Impressive, Sir!" Franklin praised. "Say, Ralph! Set us up with another round, - on the house."

"Comin' right up," Ralph complied, he too knew what was going on. None of his business though.

Horace sidled nearer to Caroline.

"I understand if'n you don't play cards, but will you watch me take some fellers to the cleaners?"

"Oh well, hon.....I can't spend my whole time with one customer ya know. Gotta spread myself around but sure...........I can watch ya for a bit. Guess I wanna see how an expert card sharp like you does it?"

That last line was dripping with sarcasm but she sold it with a sincere looking warm smile.

Posted March 8, 2022 / Arabella Mudd

"Water! Tea! Something please," Maude gasped. "I have to go in there," she then announced.

Arabella had dropped the peeler and the spud that she'd been going all out Michelangelo on. Mrs Potee seemed to have gone suddenly mad for no reason at all. The girl jumped up and started rubbing her back to calm her down. "What's the matter, Mrs P.?!" she yelped.

"I have to stop Horace from taking the Devil's hand and being led to ruin. He is either going to drink our money away or gamble it away."

"But he's a man! That's what they do!" explained Arabella, well most men she knew did that: maybe working in a saloon had something to do with that though.

She looked strained and then added, "Piss it away!"

Arabella gasped out loud at that sort of talk from a regular church-goer like Mrs Potee, who was on the flower committee and an well known pillock of the community.

She rose with pioneer-woman-dignity. "Is this the door?" she asked, pointing to one of two doors, the other leading into a pantry.

"No! Don't do it!" cried Arabella, not really sure why, it was just more exciting than letting her go.

"Don't do it Mrs P... no, it's the one on the right, that's it, you have to twist the knob all the way...." she broke off to issue some door opening information "... don't you know a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do?!" she added dramatically, enjoying herself immensely "I ain't sure what it is they all have to be doin' all over the place, but..." too late, Maude had swept out of the kitchen and into the short passageway that led to the bar.

Arabella chased after her and headed her off, just in time, before she got to the bar. There was one last chance to stop her mad career.

"Mrs Potee, if you do this now, your husband will never forgive you. I must bring you to your senses with a shock!" she cried dramatically. The, well, frankly ugly looking woman looked as she might well be expected to in such a confrontation. "You are a good Christian woman, I am too nice a person to slap your face your face, thus I must do this!" Arabella cried, and grabbing Mrs Potee, gave her a great big kiss on the lips!

She then stood back and waited for a reaction, the devil dancing in her eyes.

Posted March 9, 2022 / Caroline Mundee

"Oh shucks, Ma'am. I understand. I can't have you all to myself!" His voice was rising, and when he turned to take the newly offered drink, he staggered a bit. "Oops! Almost lost the whole shebang." Then, with the drink in his hand, he made a loud toast. "Here's to Miss Caroline!! The finest lady in the whole State of Montana!"

He belted back the drink.

Caroline smiled, "Aww thank ya, very kind of you ta say so. Just Montana though?" Her eyes sparkled.

There were a few whoops and hollers from the saloon's patrons. Franklin then pointed the sucker...errr, man toward the appropriate table where his opponent awaited. Caroline glanced at Horace, like a lamb to the slaughter.

"Well let's get going!" Horace gushed excitedly. "And come on, Miss Caroline. you can watch some."

Fortner looked Caroline in the eyes and nodded his assent slightly and secretively.

Caroline caught the look and gesture then simply nodded almost imperceptibly. It was all part of the job and if customers were going to be fool enough to drink too much and get involved in over their heads in card games, that wasn't on her. She never made anyone do anything of the sort.

"Alright, hon, I'm comin'," she accompanied the man right to the table then stood behind him when he plopped down into an empty chair.

"Good luck, hon," she wished him then thought 'he's gonna need it.'