"Work is fine for killin' time, but it's a shaky way to make a living."
Posted March 26, 2022 / Ben Simons
Meanwhile, Ben watched what was going on with great interest. If he knew that instead of the usual mundane day at the saloon, a fleecing was about to happen, he would have sold tickets. Sometimes, real life was better than any play that any theatre could put on including his own, which hadn't even opened yet.
As the game progressed, he joined the crowd that was starting to gather around the table. Then suddenly, Potee's wife appeared out of nowhere screaming at her husband. Next on the woman's list was Caroline and it almost look like there would be a cat fight of some sort, but Horace Potee suddenly grew a backbone and put his foot down. After Mrs. Potee left in a huff, Fortner whisked Caroline away to the kitchen, so they could talk about what they would do next to poor Potee.
He had seen similar scenes like this played out over the years since he had taken up poker playing as a profession. He had no doubt that Horace Potee wouldn't be the last person, Fortner would take advantage of and as long as it wasn't a family member or someone who mattered to him, Ben was quite happy to stay out of the way.
There wasn't much time to ruminate as Arabella came out to play the piano and sing some song that sounded like a running commentary of what was transpiring. He had to admire the girl had talent but why did she have such a grating personality?
Abruptly, Arabella got up, went over to Potee and started a game of Old Maid. The day was getting more and more ludicrous, and he wasn't going to miss it for all the world.
Posted March 26, 2022 / Franklin Fortner
Caroline blinked, it was apparent she was mulling it over in her head as she paused.
"Spill hot coffee inta his lap? You realize that could be really painful as in burn him in his manly place?" she started.
"I don't get it, boss. Why we gotta do that? We already got 'im drunk as a lord. Any halfway decent card sharp should be able to outplay him and take his every fuckin' penny. Why do we gotta hurt him?"
"I got my reasons. Someday I'll fill you in on them. But, okay. Tell you what. If things are looking good for us, that's fine. No spilled coffee. There is more than you can imagine riding on this and, I know that this is going to sound strange, but I don't want to leave it to chance. Look, if you hear me say to you, "I hear you serve the best coffee in Montana," that means I need your help. Now.. if you don't want to do it. I will understand and no hard feelings. We'll still find a way and you'll still be the "Montana Queen". Okay?"
He warmly smiled at her.
"You are too valuable to try to get you to do anything you don't want to. I hope you believe me."
Posted March 26, 2022 / Horace Potee
The game of Old Maid progressed. Horace was a little bit familiar with it because he played it sometimes with his daughter.
Answering the call, he laid down a four-of-diamonds and a four-of-clubs.
"Beat that!" he said.
Arabella gave him a frown "What're jawin about Mr. P., you gotta thown down all your pairs in Old Maid, don't you know that? Are you all right? You're lookin' mighty squirrel. What you been drinking?" He did look woozy.
"Listen, I don't want folks thinkin' I slipped you a mickey so I could cheat you out of house 'n' home, I'm a good Methodist girl, Mr Potee, I'm a child of the Connexion." she said earnestly. "Oh, two fives!" she was now all out of pairs and had a dirty great big Queen of Spades in her hand."
Horace WAS dizzy. He picked up his hand and studied them, then set them down.
"Hey good Christian girl. Would you please ask the barkeep for another belt?" He reached down and sent a silver dollar from his bank skidding over to her. Get one for yourself if you're of a mind to."
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
Posted March 26, 2022 / Hiram Priest
Hiram Priest kept busy with his game of Solitaire, but he also kept an eye on the progression of things a the poker table.
At the moment, that irritating gadfly of a girl was getting in the way. The last thing that they wanted was Horace Potee to lose his concentration on his game with his new-found friends.
There was something else bothering him. It was that Ben Simons and his undue interest on the friendly card game that Fortner and Potee were having. He seemed to view things too keenly and too critically. Maybe it would be good if he had some liquid refreshment like everyone else was.
Laying the cards on the table, Hiram stood up and made his way slowly to where Ralph stood behind the bar.
"Here," stated Hiram Priest, slapping a half dollar on the counter. "Would you please take a shot of Red Eye over to Mr. Simons and tell him that it's compliments of Judge Priest? He looks like he could use a friend and also a drink. I would appreciate it if you could do that for me. You won't find me ungenerous."
"Everybody can feather their nest, but it's not just anybody that can lay an egg!"
Posted March 27, 2022 / Arabella Mudd
Horace WAS dizzy. He picked up his hand and studied them, then set them down.
"Hey good Christian girl. Would you please ask the barkeep for another belt?" He reached down and sent a silver dollar from his bank skidding over to her. Get one for yourself if you're of a mind to."
"Oh, Mr Potee, do you really think you should drink any more?" She was banned from spreading the temperance message in the saloon, for obvious reasons, but she spoke quietly, so nobody could hear "You look like you need a lie down to me, and a nice drink of cool, healthful water. Listen, Mr Potee, you have a wonderful wife; I know she ain't much to look at, some folks might even call her ugly, but she loves you dearly, and a pretty little daughter, why don't you go home and lie in the bosoms of your family? You know, when Jesus turned the water into wine, he didn't expect... oh oh!!"
Fortner and Caroline were coming back, so she clammed up: they couldn't hear her, of course, but she figured the halo shining above her head might give her away.
It was going to be a short game: she had a Jack and a Queen. She held up her hand: he must have a single Jack left in his hand. "Pick a card." she said swiftly - she could only hope he would pick the Queen, that might decide him to call it a night.
Posted March 28, 2022 / Caroline Mundee
"I got my reasons. Someday I'll fill you in on them," Fortner started to reply.
Caroline frowned, she still was being kept in the dark here.
"But, okay. Tell you what. If things are looking good for us, that's fine. No spilled coffee. There is more than you can imagine riding on this and, I know that this is going to sound strange, but I don't want to leave it to chance. Look, if you hear me say to you, "I hear you serve the best coffee in Montana," that means I need your help. Now.. if you don't want to do it. I will understand and no hard feelings. We'll still find a way and you'll still be the "Montana Queen". Okay?"
He warmly smiled at her.
"More riding on this than a card game? He don't even have that much money, he is some poor sodbuster plus he has a wife," Caroline was so confused. Plus maybe the man had kids too? Most farmers wanted lots of kids, helped with the field work.
"You are too valuable to try to get you to do anything you don't want to. I hope you believe me."
"I've always been a good worker, all my bosses would back me on that. I wanna help ya, I do," Caroline was obviously battling with her conscience.
Then it came to her, "Hey! How bout this? What if it's just coffee....coffee that's been sitting for awhile and lost all it's heat? Then he would still be startled and wet but he wouldn't be hurt?"
The saloon girl never claimed to be a saint but she'd never been needlessly cruel either.
Posted March 31, 2022 / Horace Potee
It looked to Fortner that Caroline was not going to go along with his scheme. The pride of the Star Dust was deliberating out loud, and, in a way, it touched him.
"I've always been a good worker, all my bosses would back me on that. I wanna help ya, I do," Caroline was obviously battling with her conscience.
Then it came to her, "Hey! How bout this? What if it's just coffee....coffee that's been sitting for awhile and lost all it's heat? Then he would still be startled and wet but he wouldn't be hurt?"
The saloon girl never claimed to be a saint but she'd never been needlessly cruel either.
"Not only are you pretty, but you're smart," Frank said. "That's a good idea. So, at some point, when I ask if you will clear the table, you can spill it then."
They left through the kitchen door and reentered the saloon.
~*~ ~*~ ~*~
"Oh, Mr Potee, do you really think you should drink any more?"
"I paddle my own canoe, Miss," Potee stated, still staring at his old maid hand.
"You look like you need a lie down to me, and a nice drink of cool, healthful water. Listen, Mr Potee, you have a wonderful wife; I know she ain't much to look at, some folks might even call her ugly, but she loves you dearly, and a pretty little daughter, why don't you go home and lie in the bosoms of your family? You know, when Jesus turned the water into wine, he didn't expect... oh oh!!"
This was too much for Horace. "I don't need no preachin'! I need to keep up my winning streak, that's what."
Fortner and Caroline were coming back, so she clammed up: they couldn't hear her, of course, but she figured the halo shining above her head might give her away.
It was going to be a short game: she had a Jack and a Queen. She held up her hand: he must have a single Jack left in his hand. "Pick a card." she said swiftly - she could only hope he would pick the Queen, that might decide him to call it a night.
The Sod Buster reached across with his hand, his fingers waving over the top of the cards. Just then, he noticed his playmates coming back from the kitchen.
"Oops! Here they come!" he said with drunk enthusiasm; the card game with the girl now forgotten.
"What the hell were you doin'?" Horace at the two. "Pluckin' a chicken?"
Fortner patted Caroline on the back and answered, "Oh ..just tending to business, Mr. Potee. Tending to business."
Posted April 1, 2022 / Caroline Mundee
Her boss seemed to like her idea.
"Not only are you pretty, but you're smart," Frank said.
"Oh hell, I could have told you that right off," Caroline grinned.
"That's a good idea. So, at some point, when I ask if you will clear the table, you can spill it then."
"Yeah, but only if necessary you said," she pointed out, "As drunk as he is, I don't know why you can't just beat him fair n' square at cards. Cuz he's stupid drunk."
With that settled the pair headed back out of the kitchen into the main room. Hell, even the drunk was wondering what that had been all about. It certainly had been awfully suspicious to Caroline's way of thinking, luckily Potee was plastered.
"What the hell were you doin'?" Horace at the two. "Pluckin' a chicken?"
"Sorta," Caroline shrugged.
Fortner patted Caroline on the back and answered, "Oh ..just tending to business, Mr. Potee. Tending to business."
Posted April 2, 2022 / Franklin Fortner
"That's a good idea. So, at some point, when I ask if you will clear the table, you can spill it then."
"Yeah, but only if necessary you said," she pointed out, "As drunk as he is, I don't know why you can't just beat him fair n' square at cards. Cuz he's stupid drunk."
"Maybe so, Caroline, but drunks sometimes have inexplicable luck," Frank cautioned as if from a vast experience.
With that settled the pair headed back out of the kitchen into the main room. Hell, even the drunk was wondering what that had been all about. It certainly had been awfully suspicious to Caroline's way of thinking, luckily Potee was plastered.
"What the hell were you doin'?" Horace at the two. "Pluckin' a chicken?"
"Sorta," Caroline shrugged.
Frank issued a laugh disguised as a cough into his fist.
Fortner patted Caroline on the back and answered, "Oh ..just tending to business, Mr. Potee. Tending to business."
"Hey Piano girl!" shouted Potee! "Ain' t ya gonna be my lucky piece no more?" Forgetting that he'd recently been brusque with her. "Where's m'little lucky piece?" He pounded on the the table causing coins to jump. "Where's m'little angel?"
Frank was dismissive. "She'll be around Horace, so let's get back to the game. I gotta try to win back some of that money I've lost to you."
They soon resumed their places, and Fortner shuffled and fanned the cards with much more than passing experience. They made clicking sounds like cogs in a sprocket, as he swooped them up, fanned them out, regrouped, shuffled, and then expertly send them sailing from one had to another until squaring them off and slapping them in a neat stack in the center of the table.
"Cut," he said.
"OuuuuEEEE!" cried the Sod buster. "I ain't never seen anything like THAT before! Have you, Miss Caroline?" he asked Caroline.
It was a quick hand and Potee won; His seven-high-straight over Fortner's three of a kind.
"Pop goes the weasel!" he squealed delightedly as he scoop up the winnings and pulled them over to add to his growing bank. "This is like takin' candy from a baby."
Fortner loosened his tie, and he appeared quite frazzled.
"Ralph!" he called. "Can you get us a fresh deck of cards?"
"Everybody can feather their nest, but it's not just anybody that can lay an egg!"
Posted April 3, 2022 / Arabella Mudd
Frank was dismissive. "She'll be around Horace, so let's get back to the game. I gotta try to win back some of that money I've lost to you."
Arabella had wandered off when Mr Potee had dropped the Old Maid hand, but drifted back when called.
"What's the matter Mr Potee?" she asked, without rancour. She had done her best to help him, but if he wanted to cut his own throat, what could she do? "You want me to be your 'lucky Blonde'? All right." she said, unconvinced that even a blonde with hair of spun gold would be able to help him, let alone someone with her head of raven tresses..
They soon resumed their places, and Fortner shuffled and fanned the cards with much more than passing experience. They made clicking sounds like cogs in a sprocket, as he swooped them up, fanned them out, regrouped, shuffled, and then expertly send them sailing from one had to another until squaring them off and slapping them in a neat stack in the center of the table.
"Cut," he said.
"OuuuuEEEE!" cried the Sod buster. "I ain't never seen anything like THAT before! Have you, Miss Caroline?" he asked Caroline.
"Oh, there ain't much Miss Mundee hasn't seen or done, is there Caro'?" Arabella butted in, her hand on Mr Potee's shoulder in true saloon girl style. For a while it seemed to work, Horace was winning hand after hand, until an apparently hot-under-the-collar Mr Fortner called out for a new pack.
"Ralph!" he called. "Can you get us a fresh deck of cards?"
"What's wrong with these'uns?" asked Arabella loudly, then to Mr Potee. "Them's your lucky cards: if you swap, your luck'll go to Devil: I'd get out of this game now if I were you!" she advised.