"Everybody can feather their nest, but it's not just anybody that can lay an egg!"
Posted December 9, 2021 | Arabella Mudd
The bar's swing doors crashed open and a woman staggered in with a cry of "Where is he? Where's the feller what killed Frank Grimes?!!!" She looked like she had either been drinking heavily this morning, or she still had a tankful left over from the night before.
"Was it YOU?!!" she pointed to Mr. Flandry, but then screwed her eyes almost closed and leaned forward on the bar, before exclaiming "Oh no, that's Ralph!" She cast her myopic glance around the room. "Where is he? I... I got somethin' to say to that feller." she shouted.
Arabella ran up and guided the lady toward Frank.
"I think you're looking for Mr. Fortner, Miss Adams!" she yelled. Sal was a trifle deaf as well as being short sighted. "He shot Mr. Grimes. I tried to stop him but, well, you know. Boys will be boys"
"Oh! Sweet little Alla... Allabella!!" Miss Adams cooed, seeing who was helping her. She then looked to the front where Arabella was guiding her and saw a tall blurry figure.
"You the feller what shot Frank Grimes?!" she demanded, poking him in the chest.
Posted December 9, 2021 | Franklin Fortner
Before the reticent barkeep could answer, the bar's swing doors crashed open and a woman staggered in with a cry of "Where is he? Where's the feller what killed Frank Grimes?!!!" She looked like she had either been drinking heavily this morning, or she still had a tankful left over from the night before.
This was trouble, and Fortner braced himself. Man, woman, it didn't matter. Liquor mixed with guns was trouble with a capital "T".
The woman looked much the worse for wear, obviously drunk.
"Was it YOU?!!" she pointed to Mr. Flandry, but then screwed her eyes almost closed and leaned forward on the bar, before exclaiming "Oh no, that's Ralph!" She cast her myopic glance around the room. "Where is he? I... I got somethin' to say to that feller." she shouted.
Arabella ran up and guided the lady toward Frank.
"I think you're looking for Mr. Fortner, Miss Adams!" she yelled. Sal was a trifle deaf as well as being short sighted. "He shot Mr. Grimes. I tried to stop him but, well, you know. Boys will be boys"
It was too late. Arabella had just dosed the fire with gunpowder, despite Fortner's hand-signalling for her to shut up,.
"Oh! Sweet little Alla... Allabella!!" Miss Adams cooed, seeing who was helping her. She then looked to the front where Arabella was guiding her and saw a tall blurry figure.
"You the feller what shot Frank Grimes?!" she demanded, poking him in the chest.
It was before hours, it not being ten o'clock yet, and the place was empty of patrons. Only the crew was present, brooms and rags in hand.
Fortner moved her hand away from his chest.
"We're not open yet", he said quietly. "As for Grimes, he pulled a gun on me. He was drunk. He didn't listen to reason. He was looking for trouble and he found it. And get your facts straight. Two of us shot him. That's how much of a threat he posed to the law abiding citizens who were gathered here. The Sheriff said it was self-defense, and he was right."
He took a step back from her.
"Now .. if you'd like me to offer you a whiskey, I'm certain I can talk Ralph into pouring you one."
Posted December 9, 2021 | Ralph Flandry
Ralph widened his eyes even if he didn't say anything, that was an incredible daily wage for a bartender. Cowboys only made $30 a month and cavalry troopers $13 a month! At thirty days of $20 per day he would be making $600 a month! It was literally too good to be true. And when something was too good to be true then there was usually a reason to be suspicious.
He didn't need to answer yet though as none other than one of the town's hookers came barreling into the place full of righteous indignation. Ralph knew her of course. Matilda let some loose women peddle their services inside the saloon but absolutely forbade them to utilize the place to do the deeds. The women had to find someplace else to take their willing customers.
She was all upset about Grime's recent death, it figures, he was one of the low lifes who was a customer of hers. Most men wanted nothing to to with her. She was a lush and probably was diseased too by now.
First she accused Ralph himself of shooting Frank, to which he replied calmly enough, "No, you idiot."
But then she recognized him just as Arabella had to run up and get herself involved, what a surprise there. She pointed out the actual shooter, well one of them. Their new employer. Ralph rolled his eyes then watched the confrontation. That is until Fortner tried to buy her off with a whiskey on the house. Guess he was a gentleman.
"If you want, boss, otherwise I can throw her out of here. Grimes was one of her customers, she's one of the town hookers," Ralph now offered.
"Everybody can feather their nest, but it's not just anybody that can lay an egg!"
Posted December 10, 2021 | Arabella Mudd
Ralph, it seemed, was all for throwing Aunt Sally out of the place, it certainly wouldn't have been the first time he'd had to do that, although not usually this early in the morning.
"If you want, boss, otherwise I can throw her out of here. Grimes was one of her customers, she's one of the town hookers," Ralph now offered.
But Fortner wanted to handle the situation himself.
Fortner moved her hand away from his chest.
"We're not open yet", he said quietly. "As for Grimes, he pulled a gun on me. He was drunk. He didn't listen to reason. He was looking for trouble and he found it. And get your facts straight. Two of us shot him. That's how much of a threat he posed to the law abiding citizens who were gathered here. The Sheriff said it was self-defense, and he was right."
Sal looked at Frank for a long hard moment.
"What?!"
Arabella intervened again. "She's kinda deaf, you have to shout!" she explained to the Saloon owner, and then started to translate for the aged prostitute's benefit: it wasn't just the loudness of Arabella's voice, it was the higher pitch, Sal's tinitus made it harder to make out the lower rumblings of a male voice, even Caroline's husky tones sometimes eluded her.
"He said Mr. Grimes pulled his gun on him when he was drunk, he means Mr. Grimes was drunk, not Mr. Fortner, and we're not open yet and Two men shot him because they couldn't get their facts straight and they was lookin' for trouble and even the sheriff was in the right about the thing and erm... what was the other... oh, yeah it's all a threat to law abiding citizens and, say why you bothered anyway, Aunt Sal?"
"He owed me money! Two times he went with me and never paid!" declared the disgruntled lady of the evening.
"He owed her a dollar!" Arabella translated for Frank's benefit now, forgetting that she didn't have to shout anymore.
Mr. Fortner seemed to be pleased that the woman was after a few dollars rather than any kind of revenge, or maybe he was just happy at how well Arabella had translated his quiet words so accurately. Also, he now upped his volume.
"Now .. if you'd like me to offer you a whiskey, I'm certain I can talk Ralph into pouring you one."
Sally cocked her head and smiled. Arabella always thought Aunt Sal had a beautiful smile.
"All right, big feller. But I should tell you, I don't usually accept drinks off strange gentlemen!" she flirted, drunkenly.
Posted December 11, 2021 | Franklin Fortner
Sally cocked her head and smiled. Arabella always thought Aunt Sal had a beautiful smile.
"All right, big feller. But I should tell you, I don't usually accept drinks off strange gentlemen!" she flirted, drunkenly.
Frank's expression didn't change.
"Well that makes this a remarkable day because I usually don't offer drinks to strange ladies.
"Line 'em up," he said to Ralph. "Two whiskeys."
"So," he continued with Sally. "Grimes cheated you, huh? Well, we'll make that right. They don't call this the Start Dust for nothing." He then reached into his waistcoat pocket and pulled out a greenback. "Here," he said, slapping it into her hand.
Franklin didn't want any trouble from anyone. He need to sow fields and fields of goodwill. Then, when he pulled a trigger, any trigger, he'll have a lot of support from all quarters.
I'd offer you one, Arabella, but you're going to be on the clock pretty soon and we don't want you tipsy. Do we?"
Posted December 12, 2021 | Ralph Flandry
What a surprise, Frank Grimes had cheated Sally of money for her services. Or so the woman claimed, not like Grimes could defend that accusation. Ralph didn't really care though, he had no use for either of them, they deserved each other.
His employer though seemed to believe her.
"Line 'em up," he said to Ralph. "Two whiskeys."
"Alright, boss," Ralph did as was directed, pouring two shotglasses to their rims.
Ralph then heard their new employer address Arabella about a drink.
"She was not allowed alcohol when Miss Devereau was here," he decided to let the man know, Arabella was still just a kid.
"Everybody can feather their nest, but it's not just anybody that can lay an egg!"
Posted December 12, 2021 | Arabella Mudd
"She was not allowed alcohol when Miss Devereau was here," he decided to let the man know, Arabella was still just a kid.
Arabella stamped her foot and put her hands on her hips. "Not that she needed to: I'm Tea-Total, Mr. Fortner, signed the pledge when I was twelve... 'Water Bright is My One Delight!'" she reeled off some Methodist doggerel. Sure, Arabella got up to all sorts of things she hadn't ought to do, but drinking alcohol wasn't one of them.
"It's kinda aggravating' when someone tells you not to do somethin' you wasn't gonna do no-how in the furst place." she further expostulated.
Aunt Sally had moved back to the bar, eagerly waiting the free drinks.
There was an ominous creaking noise from upstairs and Arabella suddenly shushed them all (although hers was the loudest voice present) "Quiet! All this shoutin's woken Caroline up!"
"What?" asked Sal inevitably.
"I said be quiet!!" Arabella yelled. She jerked a thumb at the somewhat antiquated strumpet and explained to Frank "She's a lot more easier to get along with when she's got the horn on her."
Posted December 14, 2021 | Franklin Fortner
"Line 'em up," he said to Ralph. "Two whiskeys."
"Alright, boss," Ralph did as was directed, pouring two shot glasses to their rims.
Ralph then heard their new employer address Arabella about a drink.
"She was not allowed alcohol when Miss Devereau was here," he decided to let the man know, Arabella was still just a kid.
"Oh?" Frank muttered. Then he turned to Arabella. "Sorry kid," he said.
Arabella stamped her foot and put her hands on her hips. "Not that she needed to: I'm Tea-Total, Mr. Fortner, signed the pledge when I was twelve... 'Water Bright is My One Delight!'" she reeled off some Methodist doggerel. Sure, Arabella got up to all sorts of things she hadn't ought to do, but drinking alcohol wasn't one of them.
"I had no idea. Maybe Ralph can set you up with some water?" he queried.
"It's kinda aggravating' when someone tells you not to do somethin' you wasn't gonna do no-how in the furst place." she further expostulated.
Aunt Sally had moved back to the bar, eagerly waiting the free drinks.
"Drink up, Miss," he said to the old strumpet. One of the house and the memory of the wayward Grimes."
Franklin lifted his glass and took a couple of sips. It was good stuff.
There was an ominous creaking noise from upstairs and Arabella suddenly shushed them all (although hers was the loudest voice present) "Quiet! All this shoutin's woken Caroline up!"
"What?" asked Sal inevitably.
"I said be quiet!!" Arabella yelled. She jerked a thumb at the somewhat antiquated strumpet and explained to Frank "She's a lot more easier to get along with when she's got the horn on her."
Frank held up his palms and cautioned her to keep her voice down. "You never know who's suffering from the hangover, do you?"
One attendant across the room reached outside the swinging doors and removed the CLOSED sign. It was time for business.
Posted December 14, 2021 | Caroline Mundee
"Yer welcome to a sarsparilla if you want one, Ara?" Ralph now suggested a more flavorful drink choice than water as she seemed upset.
Despite all the uproar, mostly caused by the loud voice of Arabella, Caroline was not asleep. It was too close to opening time. She had been getting dressed such as it was, a scandalously low cut bright red dress to go with eye makeup and freshly painted fingernails. Just like those east coast actresses. While she wouldn't be late for work, she was running a bit behind as regards breakfast. Not that it was unusual for her to miss it, she'd just have a bowl of the beef stew later and that would hold her.
One last check in the mirror satisfied the saloon girl she was ready and down the stairway she went. That whore, Sally, was in the place early? Oh and the boss was up and around too. Interesting...
"Morning, folks! Gonna be another hot one I'll bet," she flashed one of her light up the room smiles.
"Everybody can feather their nest, but it's not just anybody that can lay an egg!"
Posted December 15, 2021 | Arabella Mudd
Arabella wrinkled her nose at Frank's 'kind' offer of a glass of water, but 'uncle Ralph' knew what she liked.
"Yer welcome to a sarsparilla if you want one, Ara?" Ralph now suggested a more flavorful drink choice than water as she seemed upset.
"Oh, yes pleeeeeease, Mr. Flandry!" the girl oozed, giving him a simpering, sickly smile that was a little in-joke of theirs. This is what happened after a while of people working and living together, day in day out, often in pretty intense circumstances: they became a family, as Caroline was so often apt to point out, with all their own jokes, sayings, code words, taboos and traditions. That was the wall Mr. Fortner would need to break through, rather than any disputes about pay or conditions, he had to become part of the family. It was a process that would happen naturally in time.
Little funny incidents would happen; in fact, one happened now as Aunt Sally reached for her second glass of whiskey and Frank reached over, picked it up and, to Sal's visible horror, drank it himself. Even 30, 40 years later, if Arabella ever saw someone in possession of two drinks she'd remember that incident and chuckle.
As Caroline descended the stairs, more family traditions. As every morning, Cookie McMahon popped her head in the saloon and shouted up "You want toast, Miss Caroline?" and Arabella rushed to the piano and played a sort of rolling welcoming fanfare and announced excitedly "Ladies and Gentlemen, here she is, The Chicago Songthrush, Miss Caroliiiiiine Mundeeeeeee!" In fact, Arabella was always quite put out when the songstress actually did get up early enough to join the rest of them at the early morning breakfast table. It broke family tradition, see.
"Morning, folks! Gonna be another hot one I'll bet," she flashed one of her light up the room smiles.
"It's always a hot one with La Mundee in town!" Arabella concurred, before slurping the rest of her sarsaparilla.
"Hey, it's that girl who sings!" slurred Sal, who had now put on her seein' glasses. "...Caroline." Boy, this place sure looked funny in the morning when it was empty and the light was streaming in through the windows.
Arabella jumped up from the piano stool, bashed her empty glass down on the bar like the cowboys did after they'd downed a beer in one and threw her arms affectionately around the old bawd.
"Look Caro', Aunt sally's come in to see us!" she beamed, as if some luminary like President Grant or Queen Victoria had dropped by.