"Everybody can feather their nest, but it's not just anybody that can lay an egg!"
Posted September 9, 2021 / Arabella Mudd
As the pair approached the old gent, Caroline whispered, "He did pay for that there drink I take it?" Matilda frowned on customers getting free drinks.
"Course he did, silly." Arabella confirmed, almost tripping over her big feet trying to walk as slowly as Caroline over to the gent. Arabella was always in a hurry and her usual manner of locomotion was a stiff legged and brisk walk, whereas Caroline's could only really be described as a slow sashay. Arabella tried practicing walking that way once and nearly dislocated a hip.
"Here we are Mr Priest." she smiled when they finally got there and gave Hiram his drink. "Caroline, this here is Mr Hiram Priest. Mr Priest, this is Miss Caroline Mundee, the Chicago Nightingale" (she put out of her mind that the last time she had introduced her friend that way, the gent in question had asked 'And who are you, the Kalispell Cuckoo?!')
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
Posted September 10, 2021 / Hiram Priest
Hiram took out his watch and checked the time. It was earlier than he thought, so he gathered up his cards and reshuffled them for another game. His bony fingers were surprisingly adroit, almost like a professional dealer. In short order he'd set himself up for another game of solitaire.
The game required some level of concentration, but it was broken again by the flighty young girl who'd just returned with the femme fatale.
"Here we are Mr Priest." she smiled when they finally got there and gave Hiram his drink. "Caroline, this here is Mr Hiram Priest. Mr Priest, this is Miss Caroline Mundee, the Chicago Nightingale" (she put out of her mind that the last time she had introduced her friend that way, the gent in question had asked 'And who are you, the Kalispell Cuckoo?!')
He issued a flat, "Hmmm," and continued playing the game as he spoke.
"Glad to meet you, young Miss. "Mundee" you say? Related to the Mundee's of upper Missouri?" The name was familiar to him. In one of his first trial cases as a lawyer, he defended a man was accused of setting fire to his neighbor's barn.. name of Thaddeus Mundee. Unfortunately, the man was knifed in jail while awaiting his verdict.
"You two ought to do some duets around this place. Have you ever thought of that?" The "Mayor" was always trying to work out a deal or help someone else work out a deal.
He sipped his drink.
"Is there any office space in this town that needs fillin'? He asked them. I'm lookin' to set up shop."
Posted September 10, 2021 / Caroline Mudd
Ara assured her that the drink had indeed been paid for so Caroline wouldn't need to have to collect the money then (for she certainly would have as she took her job seriously). Ara marched right back to the table occupied by the long gaunt old jasper and did the introduction straight off.
"Caroline, this here is Mr Hiram Priest. Mr Priest, this is Miss Caroline Mundee, the Chicago Nightingale"
Caroline smiled, "How do ya do, Mr. Priest and nobody calls me that but Ara here."
The man issued a flat, "Hmmm," and continued playing the game as he spoke.
"Glad to meet you, young Miss. "Mundee" you say? Related to the Mundee's of upper Missouri?" the old gent replied.
"Yes, Mundee but you can call me Caroline, everybody else does around here," she responded but then added, "Nope, no relatives there I know about. I was born in Chicago"
"You two ought to do some duets around this place. Have you ever thought of that?" the man suddenly asserted out of the clear blue sky.
Caroline blinked, not sure she cared for his barging in on business not his own like that but he was a paying customer so.........
"Actually she is the piano player and does a fine job of it too. I appreciate her very much. And on occasion she does join in on choruses and such," she answered.
"You might wanna be around in the evenin' sometime and catch our act, it's a good one if I do say so myself."
He sipped his drink. Caroline noticed he had made no offer to buy her one or even invite her to have a seat while she stood there. Not as much a gentleman as his outward appearance would indicate.
"Is there any office space in this town that needs fillin'? He asked them. " I'm lookin' to set up shop."
Caroline shrugged, "Real estate ain't my area of expertise. Might wanna go to the courthouse, there's a land office in there."
"What kinda shop?" she figured she might as well ask.
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
Posted September 11, 2021 / Hiram Priest
"Actually she is the piano player and does a fine job of it too. I appreciate her very much. And on occasion she does join in on choruses and such," she answered.
"You might wanna be around in the evenin' sometime and catch our act, it's a good one if I do say so myself."
Hiram nodded. "Sounds like something I don't want to miss. I'm certain you two nightingales bring refinement to this wide-open town."
He swept his cards into one pile and expertly formed them into a single deck. Game over.
He sipped his drink. Caroline noticed he had made no offer to buy her one or even invite her to have a seat while she stood there. Not as much a gentleman as his outward appearance would indicate.
"Is there any office space in this town that needs fillin'? He asked them. " I'm lookin' to set up shop."
Caroline shrugged, "Real estate ain't my area of expertise. Might wanna go to the courthouse, there's a land office in there."
"What kinda shop?" she figured she might as well ask.
"Just a minute," the old codger said. "Can I offer you too damsels a drink? That is, unless you're not allowed to. Every place is different. Some saloon owners don't like the help to fraternize with the customers, and other places encourage it. I'm buyin'.
" Oh, and by the way, I'm Hiram S. Priest Esq.. I'm a lawyer, former Mayor and Judge. Haven't been in town long but it looks like a place where I might hang up my shingle. Courthouse you say?"
"Everybody can feather their nest, but it's not just anybody that can lay an egg!"
Posted September 11, 2021 / Arabella Mudd
"What kinda shop?" she figured she might as well ask.
"Yeah" put in Arabella "Kalispell's already got shops selling everything everybody needs; what we want is more stores selling stuff we don't need!" she advised eagerly.
"Just a minute," the old codger said. "Can I offer you too damsels a drink? That is, unless you're not allowed to."
"Not allowed to?" queried Arabella, for Caroline usually drank more patron-bought drinks than she sang songs on a good evening, and Arabella herself had been known to knock back more than a few sarsaparillas in her time.
"Every place is different. Some saloon owners don't like the help to fraternize with the customers, and other places encourage it. I'm buyin'.
"Oh, I'm tea total so I'll pass, but Caroline's pretty much the biggest fraternizer I ever met, ain't ya Caro'?" She jerked a confidential thumb at her friend, "... believe me Mister, this girl'll bleed ya.. er, I mean drink the place dry!" Calling him Mister must have reminded the old gink that he hadn't presented his own moniker yet:
" Oh, and by the way, I'm Hiram S. Priest Esq.. I'm a lawyer, former Mayor and Judge. Haven't been in town long but it looks like a place where I might hang up my shingle. Courthouse you say?"
"Hey!" jumped in Arabella, excitedly "My friend Jemima says that her brother Hector says that Mr Jolly says that the Mayor's 'on his last legs' an' there's like to be a election soon fer a new one. Maybe if you're some form o' Mayor, you could get that job. Second best, our Post Master Mr Orr's just been burned to a crisp, so that job'll be up fer grabs too. Problem is, there ain't really a Post Office any more, it sorta got burned to a crisp too, at the same time."
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
Posted September 13, 2021 / Hiram Priest
" Oh, and by the way, I'm Hiram S. Priest Esq.. I'm a lawyer, former Mayor and Judge. Haven't been in town long but it looks like a place where I might hang up my shingle. Courthouse you say?"
"Hey!" jumped in Arabella, excitedly "My friend Jemima says that her brother Hector says that Mr Jolly says that the Mayor's 'on his last legs' an' there's like to be a election soon fer a new one. Maybe if you're some form o' Mayor, you could get that job. Second best, our Post Master Mr Orr's just been burned to a crisp, so that job'll be up fer grabs too. Problem is, there ain't really a Post Office any more, it sorta got burned to a crisp too, at the same time."
Hiram removed his hat and waved it, causing the barkeep to look his way. He pointed to his drink and then pointed to the silent Caroline. Then he pointed to Arabella and barked, "Sarsaparilla." After that, the hat went back on.
What Arabella just said couldn't have interested the wily Mr. Priest more. It was exactly what he was hoping for but so surprised that the subject landed so quickly at his table. He slowly nodded his head and tugged at his chin, affecting a sage and cautious demeanor.
"Mayor, you say? Well,.." He picked up his drink and took a sip. "A Mayor should provide a town's citizens with moral leadership and help carve a path to future development." In a sense, he was already making a campaign speech. "There are railroad companies itchin' to lay down tracks and it's our job to make certain they lay those tracks right through Kalispell. Just think of the business that'll bring to a place like this. The saloon owner'll have to hire more ladies like you to help with the overflow."
What the "Mayor" proposed was true, and there were many town's on the frontier making overtures to the powers-that-be at the railroads to look their way. But there was a more sinister reason that Mr. Hiram Priest was interested in landing on the Mayoral throne, and it didn't have much to do with the prosperity of the town and its citizens as much as lining his own pockets and filling his own coffers.
"Please," he continued. "What do you girls know about the current Mayor? Is he loose virtued?
Posted September 14, 2021 / Caroline Mundee
It was going to be a shop like one where a person could buy items such as clothing or food or tools or some such, the old geezer was planning on opening a lawyer's office? Caroline did not much care for lawyers, the only couple of that profession she knew were - in her opinion - no better and actually quite worse than whores.
"Lawyer huh? We got us a few in town, one of em is a woman too," Caroline replied.
Man also was curious about the mayor but Ara jumped right in in her usual fashion.
"My friend Jemima says that her brother Hector says that Mr Jolly says that the Mayor's 'on his last legs' an' there's like to be a election soon fer a new one. Maybe if you're some form o' Mayor, you could get that job. Second best, our Post Master Mr Orr's just been burned to a crisp, so that job'll be up fer grabs too. Problem is, there ain't really a Post Office any more, it sorta got burned to a crisp too, at the same time."
"Arabella is right about Mr. Orr being fried alive but there is too a post office, there was some damage but not that bad.......well except to Mr. Orr. Our boss, Miss Devereau, sez 'small loss'.
Hiram removed his hat and waved it, causing the barkeep to look his way. He pointed to his drink and then pointed to the silent Caroline. Then he pointed to Arabella and barked, "Sarsaparilla." After that, the hat went back on.
Ralph gave a bit of a smirk and made no move to hop to those drinks. Caroline of course noted what was signaled then shouted by the newcomer concerning drinks. That sort of thing didn't fly here though.
"The bartender don't go waitin' on tables, his place is behind the bar. Lucky fer you, I can do this, be right back," she pushed herself away from the table then headed up to the bar. She returned in a short while with a small tray and two filled shot glasses and one sarsparilla.
"Here ya go," the saloon girl slid the tray into the middle of the circular table, "Help yerselves."
Then she sat back down, taking one of the shot glasses in hand.
"What do you girls know about the current Mayor? Is he loose virtued?"
"I only been in town a few months and I never saw the man much less met him. As fer his virtue, reckon that is none of my business," Caroline dismissed the question with a raising of her glass for a toast.
"To lawyers, mayors, and loose virtue!" she grinned.
"Everybody can feather their nest, but it's not just anybody that can lay an egg!"
Posted September 15, 2021 / Arabella Mudd
"Lawyer huh? We got us a few in town, one of em is a woman too," Caroline replied.
Arabella gurgled a laugh "Woman lawyer! D'you ever hear o' such a ridiculus notion, Mr. Priest? Ladies should do Ladies Jobs: like washerwomen or saloon singers or glamorous Confederate lady-spies what hide their secret messages in their petticoats!"
She then told the new old man in town all about Mr. Orr's fate.
"Arabella is right about Mr. Orr being fried alive but there is too a post office, there was some damage but not that bad.......well except to Mr. Orr. Our boss, Miss Devereau, sez 'small loss'."
"My friend Jemima really hates him." chipped in the Mudd girl, not to be outdone "You should hear her talk about him, she uses words that'd even shock you Mr. Priest, and you look like a feller what's been round the mountain a few times!"
Caroline up and fetched the drinks, which was nice of her.
"Here ya go," the saloon girl slid the tray into the middle of the circular table, "Help yerselves."
"Bottoms up!" Arabella chuckled.
"What do you girls know about the current Mayor? Is he loose virtued?"
"I only been in town a few months and I never saw the man much less met him. As fer his virtue, reckon that is none of my business," Caroline dismissed the question with a raising of her glass for a toast.
Arabella, on the other hand, never let a lack of first hand knowledge about a subject stop her presenting herself as Miss Know-it-all:
"Well I never met him neither, but Hector Wigfall growed up here and he told me all about him: He was onct a gaunt steely eyed lawman, his blue grey eyes strikin' terror in every ornery outlaw around ('cept Thomas Gage Love o' Course, he's my favourite!) Marshall Scott Cory, terror of the West! Then some Serpent of Temptation whispered in his shell-like ear... perhaps it was tricky Dicky Orr himself... and this serpent said 'say Marshall, know what would be even more splendid than bein' a lawman? Bein' a Mayor! So he stood for Mayor and it was all downhill from then on in: his teeth fell out, he went bald, and knock kneed, too! In the end he went totally insane and made his daughter ... teenage daughter mind ya... Deputy Marshall!!! And now he's on his last legs." She sat back, arms folded to assess the effect of this story on her audience. "Course, I never met the feller myself, and Hector's always playing tricks on me and tellin' tall stories: but who knows? Might be true!"
Caroline erased this whole ridiculous story with a toast.
"To lawyers, mayors, and loose virtue!" she grinned.
"And Hooray for the Old Dominion!" added Arabella, downing her drink in one.
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
Posted September 16, 2021 / Hiram Priest
Hiram noted the stubborn barkeep. "Hmmm," he said, but not discouraged.
Miss Mudd prattled on.
"My friend Jemima really hates him." chipped in the Mudd girl, not to be outdone "You should hear her talk about him, she uses words that'd even shock you Mr. Priest, and you look like a feller what's been round the mountain a few times!"
Priest chuckled good naturedly. There was no disguising age. Once he'd put some bootblack in his hair but it made his face appear even more lined that it usually presented itself. So, he abandoned that remedy.
Caroline up and fetched the drinks, which was nice of her.
"Bottoms up!" Arabella chuckled.
"What do you girls know about the current Mayor? Is he loose virtued?"
Getting the lay of the land was important to Hiram.
"I only been in town a few months and I never saw the man much less met him. As fer his virtue, reckon that is none of my business," Caroline dismissed the question with a raising of her glass for a toast.
"A Mayor's fitness for duty is every citizen's business," Judge Priest lectured through a wad of tobacco.
Arabella, on the other hand, never let a lack of first hand knowledge about a subject stop her presenting herself as Miss Know-it-all:
"Well I never met him neither, but Hector Wigfall growed up here and he told me all about him: He was onct a gaunt steely eyed lawman, his blue grey eyes strikin' terror in every ornery outlaw around ('cept Thomas Gage Love o' Course, he's my favourite!) Marshall Scott Cory, terror of the West! Then some Serpent of Temptation whispered in his shell-like ear... perhaps it was tricky Dicky Orr himself... and this serpent said 'say Marshall, know what would be even more splendid than bein' a lawman? Bein' a Mayor! So he stood for Mayor and it was all downhill from then on in: his teeth fell out, he went bald, and knock kneed, too! In the end he went totally insane and made his daughter ... teenage daughter mind ya... Deputy Marshall!!! And now he's on his last legs." She sat back, arms folded to assess the effect of this story on her audience. "Course, I never met the feller myself, and Hector's always playing tricks on me and tellin' tall stories: but who knows? Might be true!"
Caroline erased this whole ridiculous story with a toast.
"To lawyers, mayors, and loose virtue!" she grinned.
"And Hooray for the Old Dominion!" added Arabella, downing her drink in one.
"Here's to all of that and prosperity for all!" Hiram recited from many of his speeches.
"You know, ladies," the old sinner settled in. "Golden days are ahead fer all folks out West here. You can take a town like this and turn it into a ... a....,." He searched for the right word. "Into a Metropolis." Indeed, Hiram was a visionary. "Why I see a public library, and a decent City Hall, and rotten old boardwalks replaced by regular sidewalks of concrete. And how's about a town square? You know! A park where folks can stroll through."
He took a sip of liquor and then laid his hands flat on the table. "What you need is the right kind of Mayor."
He figured it wouldn't hurt to try out his stump speech on the ladies. Maybe they'll spread the word?
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
Posted September 17, 2021 / Caroline Mundee
"I only been in town a few months and I never saw the man much less met him. As fer his virtue, reckon that is none of my business," Caroline dismissed the question with a raising of her glass for a toast.
"A Mayor's fitness for duty is every citizen's business," Judge Priest lectured through a wad of tobacco.
"You didn't say 'fitness' you said 'virtue' and frankly, hon, the jasper can go fuck goats for all I care if he can do his mayor job properly," Caroline countered.
Of course Arabella, being Arabella, had a whole lot more to say on the subject. Caroline listened...well, she did lose the train of thought about halfway thru. Vast majority was nonsense no doubt anyway.
"Course, I never met the feller myself, and Hector's always playing tricks on me and tellin' tall stories: but who knows? Might be true!" she concluded (finally).
"More' n likely it ain't," Caroline shrugged then made her toast.
"To lawyers, mayors, and loose virtue!" she grinned.
"And Hooray for the Old Dominion!" added Arabella, downing her drink in one.
"Here's to all of that and prosperity for all!" Hiram recited from many of his speeches.
Caroline clinked her glass to the old man's and gave a room brightening smile then drained hers right off.
"You know, ladies," it was the old man's trun to wax lyrical, "Golden days are ahead fer all folks out West here. You can take a town like this and turn it into a ... a....,. into a Metropolis. Why I see a public library, and a decent City Hall, and rotten old boardwalks replaced by regular sidewalks of concrete. And how's about a town square? You know! A park where folks can stroll through."
"I stroll thru town on the boardwalk all the time, quite interestin' it can be too. Don't need a square," Caroline seemed unimpressed. Chicago was a bigger city by far than this place and she found much about that place she had not cared for.
He took a sip of liquor and then laid his hands flat on the table. "What you need is the right kind of Mayor."
"Ya mean like one who folks actually see on occasion?" Caroline chuckled.