Supper finished and everyone appeared quite full even that bottomless pit that Wyatt was so Aurelian now decided to offer his guest a chance to walk it off.
She smiled at Aurelian and rose from her chair. "A walk would be wonderful."
Once outside he pointed out a few details about the place, the barn, a sort of quick tour hopefully without boring the woman. He also wanted to make sure that she knew his children had a favorable view of her.
"I can tell you've put a lot of work into the place. It's quite nice," she complimented him.
He nodded, "Thanks, guess practice makes perfect. It's my third attempt at it in truth. I tried first in Pennsylvania but it didn't work out so well. Then we moved out West and I got a place about forty miles east. But there was an Indian attack on it and my Katherine died and Clara almost joined her. I thought I was going to lose her too but she's a stubborn one. Not sure how I'd have done with just me n' Wyatt."
Lucinda locked eyes with him, her smile fading slightly, although her eyes were twinkling. "Aurelian, why are you concerned about your children liking me?"
He seemed surprised by the question, smiled but thought on it for a moment before replying.
"Well, unlike some families I do take into account my childrens' opinion on things. And I hope this doesn't come across wrong but if they couldn't stand you, well, that would be the last time I ever asked you over," he said it with a smile.
"That is, of course, if you are willing to see me again? I'd never be that needy widower who wouldn't take 'no' for an answer."
Lucinda laughed at Aurelian's statement. It was funny, yes, but it revealed again how much he valued his children and how close their relationship was. And the fact that his children actually did like her made her feel good. Maybe what was really making her feel good was that Aurelian liked her too.
"Why, of course I am willing to see you again." She grabbed his hands impulsively and looked up at him. "I know you wouldn't pester me, but even if you did, I think you'd find I can be quite stubborn."
She looked down and rubbed one thumb gently over the back of his hand. "Before we rush into anything, I need to tell you something." She hesitated, then decided to forge ahead. "You know I was pregnant three times. I don't know if I'll ever be able to bring a child into this world. If...if you do want children, I don't know that I can give you that."
She looked up at him, holding her breath. To lose the easy companionship she had with Aurelian, and the chance for something deeper, would be painful. But it would be more painful for both of them if they continued and Aurelian wanted more children, children she couldn't give him.
"Why, of course I am willing to see you again." She grabbed his hands impulsively and looked up at him. "I know you wouldn't pester me, but even if you did, I think you'd find I can be quite stubborn."
He smiled, "Hmmmm, my Catherine and now my Clara, why I have no experience at all dealing with stubborn women."
She looked down and rubbed one thumb gently over the back of his hand. "Before we rush into anything, I need to tell you something."
"Certainly, I'm listening," he nodded.
She hesitated, then decided to forge ahead. "You know I was pregnant three times. I don't know if I'll ever be able to bring a child into this world. If...if you do want children, I don't know that I can give you that."
"I see. That was most sad for you I'm sure. But God decides these sorts of things, we have little control. Besides, maybe I'm getting a little old for newborn babies and raising more children. The two I have now should be more than enough," he spoke softly.
"However should you want a child, I would be happy to help raise him or her with you....two of us should be handle one kid, right?"
Lucinda laughed at Aurelian's sarcasm. He certainly would have gained plenty of experience with stubbornness when he raised Clara, and if Clara's mother was anything like her daughter, Aurelian was well-versed in dealing with stubborn women.
Always philosophical, Aurelian put her fears about child-bearing to rest, and even offered to support her in raising a child if that was what she wanted. Well, that was all well and good, only she didn't know if she wanted more children or not. But that was something she could figure out later on, wasn't it? Aurelian wouldn't hold it against her, and that was what was important.
Relief flooded her face along with a smile. "I should think we would be able to." She leaned up to kiss his cheek softly. "Thank you, Aurelian, for understanding."
Lucinda had her concerns about children, well at least the possibility of having more. Her own experience trying to have one had been quite disastrous and no doubt very sad for her. Aurelian had decided not to tell the woman that his own wife had lost a newborn or he would have had a trio of children. That was all fate though, no one's fault and he was still very grateful he had the two. Lucinda's life had been quite different. All he could do was be supportive.
She then leaned in to softly kiss his cheek, her first real attempt at such a thing. He smiled as she thanked him for being so understanding.
"My pleasure, Lucinda."
"So, where do we go from here then? Should I be saying anything to Clara and Wyatt or just keep it between us for awhile longer?" he thought both questions fair ones to discuss.
Lucinda frowned thoughtfully. There were pros and cons to telling Aurelian's children, and to not telling them. If they didn't tell Clara and Wyatt, there would be two less people to talk about their relationship. People were going to talk about it anyway, but the fewer people that knew at this early stage, the less gossip there would be.
But if they did tell Clara and Wyatt, the children wouldn't be surprised when she and Aurelian started spending more time together. Of course, Clara probably wouldn't be surprised either way. She was old enough and astute enough to know that her father wouldn't just invite a woman out for dinner at his house with no reason.
"I think it's up to you," she said finally. "You know your children. If you think they'd like to know, I think we should tell them. And I would gladly tell Clara, if you want to leave that task to me. But if you think she would take it better from you, I'll let you tell her."
She squeezed his hand and looked off into the sunset.
"I think it's up to you," Lucinda said finally.
"Yes it is, but I value your opinion on the matter too," Aurelian replied.
"You know your children. If you think they'd like to know, I think we should tell them. And I would gladly tell Clara, if you want to leave that task to me. But if you think she would take it better from you, I'll let you tell her."
She squeezed his hand and looked off into the sunset.
Aurelian slowly nodded as he obviously was giving it some deep consideration before making his decision.
"Very well then, I want them to know. I think it is important they know because their lives will be affected by any such decision we make, right?" he reasoned.
"I honestly do not think we have to worry much about a negative reaction though, oh maybe surprise...though unlikely even that with Clara.So let's do this then. I will tell Wyatt. He likes you that much is obvious. He's also a very good natured young lad. We have a fine relationship. But I think your offer is a smart one. Let's face it, women understand women better then men do. I think you should come out and tell her. You still willing to do that?" he smiled.
"Very well then, I want them to know. I think it is important they know because their lives will be affected by any such decision we make, right?" he reasoned.
"That's right. Of course I don't want to change their lives completely, but things will be different." Lucinda nodded.
"I honestly do not think we have to worry much about a negative reaction though, oh maybe surprise...though unlikely even that with Clara.So let's do this then. I will tell Wyatt. He likes you that much is obvious. He's also a very good natured young lad. We have a fine relationship. But I think your offer is a smart one. Let's face it, women understand women better then men do. I think you should come out and tell her. You still willing to do that?" he smiled.
"Yes, I'll do it." Lucinda smiled at the thought of Aurelian trying to tell Clara. Knowing Clara, she would probably guess what her father was trying to say before he started. "Should we tell them tonight? I could tell Clara on the way back into town, but if you'd rather not be there I can do it when we're at the diner sometime."
Now that they were talking about it, she realized she was a bit nervous about talking to Clara. The young woman was kind, of course, but so solemn and blunt. If she had any reservations about her father's relationship, Clara wouldn't hold back. And Lucinda, who wanted desperately to at least see where things went with Aurelian, didn't think she could bear hearing discouraging words -- however true and well-meant they might be.
"Yes, I'll do it." Lucinda smiled .
"Excellent!" Aurelian wanted her to be a part of this process, afterall if their plans came to fruition she would suddenly be a full member of the Redmond family.
"Should we tell them tonight? I could tell Clara on the way back into town, but if you'd rather not be there I can do it when we're at the diner sometime."
Yes, tactics. How might be best? He had a take on it and it chimed in well with her suggestion too. Showed the two of them thought alike on matters.
"No, let's just finish this out as a friendly dinner with company present. Then on the way back or tomorrow, no matter to me, you can talk with Clara. Despite her sometimes outward ...grim...well solemn manner, she really is easy to talk with as long as she respects a person," he smiled but then he was of course a bit biased when it came to his beloved daughter.
"Then in the morning, I will bring it up with Wyatt while we eat breakfast before he leaves for school. I anticipate surprise of course from the boy but not resistance. In truth he has always been far more easy going than Clara. I'm confident it will go smoothly," he added.
"So sound like a plan?"
"No, let's just finish this out as a friendly dinner with company present. Then on the way back or tomorrow, no matter to me, you can talk with Clara. Despite her sometimes outward ...grim...well solemn manner, she really is easy to talk with as long as she respects a person."
Lucinda laughed at that. "I don't know how much she can respect me if she's ordering me around the diner, but all right."
It was all right with her to tell Clara by herself. Woman to woman was probably better, less awkward than having the young woman's father present. Clara could always bring up any reservations she had to Aurelian later. Or, since she was so blunt, she could address Lucinda directly, although Lucinda hoped it wouldn't come to that.
She hoped to stay on good terms with Clara, even more now that her relationship with Aurelian was finally going somewhere.
"Then in the morning, I will bring it up with Wyatt while we eat breakfast before he leaves for school. I anticipate surprise of course from the boy but not resistance. In truth he has always been far more easy going than Clara. I'm confident it will go smoothly," he added.
"So sound like a plan?"
"Yes." She smiled, squeezing his hand. "I suppose after tonight I won't see you until church on Sunday."