Sit down, shut up, don't touch anythin'
"Look, Porter, Look! We've got a puppy!"
"A what?" Of course, it was obvious, it was right there in his face, a muddy little mutt who was looking particularly woeful, as opposed to Addy, who had 'that look', although Weedy knew her well enough to know it was fading. He also knew there w as a 'no dog' rule...'ya got a one-eyed cat, why'd ya need more?'
"We've got to clean him up, and then we get to name him... er... or her. Oh dear, I wonder how we can tell if he's a little boy or a little girl?!" she wondered aloud.
"Sure, all right," Weedy was backing into the yard since the stoop was getting a bit crowded, but he was still confused, and wasn't quite sure what had happened to Jane. Shouldn't she be screaming, or fainting, or...something. But to be standing there all muddy with that big grin...Suddenly, she seemed kinda pretty.
"You just have to look under its skirts," he explained, using an Addy-ism. He'd been around the horses long enough to know some of the birds and bees thing, at least when it came to animals.
"Oh! Excuse me, Mrs Chappel, me and Porter were trying to find out what the difference is between boys and girls. I don't suppose you know?"
"It's a boy," Addy grumbled, much deflated at this point, "an' he ain't got no name." If you named it, you had to keep it, and she had no intention of having a dog. "Reckon if you two wanna call it somethin', ain't nothin' I can do about it."
She sighed, using a muddy hand to brush muddy hair from her muddy face. "Grab a bucket," she told Weedy, "an' let's get ta th' pump an' see what that mutt really looks like. Then ya can douse me."
"Yes, Ma'am." Weedy ran to comply as Addy looked at the bespectacled, bedraggled girl. "Jane, ya say? I'm Addy. Pleased ta meet ya."
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
"You just have to look under its skirts," he explained
Jane frowned. "Uh? It isn't wearing any!" she pointed out. "Anyhow, even if it was, you shouldn't go lookin' under anyone's skirts!" she warned him, sparing a hand to pull her own down a little. She liked Weedy Chappel very, very much, but there'd be no monkey business like that till they were safely wed!
Then the 7th Cavalry arrived.
"Oh! Excuse me, Mrs Chappel, me and Porter were trying to find out what the difference is between boys and girls. I don't suppose you know?"
"It's a boy," Addy grumbled, much deflated at this point, "an' he ain't got no name." If you named it, you had to keep it, and she had no intention of having a dog. "Reckon if you two wanna call it somethin', ain't nothin' I can do about it."
"Oh Porter, we've got little boy!!" Jane beamed at Weedy like they'd just been told the gender of their first baby. "Hmmm, boy's names... I love Porter... but he can't have the same name as you!" she joked... it was also a sneaky way to say the words out loud to him that she'd wanted to, ever since she'd first lain eyes on him, whittlin' a twig in the schoolyard. The puppy licked her face and she laughed "He agrees!" she announced.
She sighed, using a muddy hand to brush muddy hair from her muddy face. "Grab a bucket," she told Weedy, "an' let's get ta th' pump an' see what that mutt really looks like. Then ya can douse me."
Jane giggled at that, Weedy's Mommy sure was a character.
"Yes, Ma'am." Weedy ran to comply as Addy looked at the bespectacled, bedraggled girl. "Jane, ya say? I'm Addy. Pleased ta meet ya."
The girl grinned up at the muddy woman, the heterodox offering of Mrs Chappel's Christian name going right over her head, for children are the arch-conservatives of this world. "Oh, but Mrs Chappel, why is Farley so Muddy, and where his Mommy and Daddy and... why are YOU so muddy?!" she asked. She suspected the answers might be connected, but couldn't in the world imagine how.
Hold on... Farley?!
'We...' Why did she keep saying 'we, although since the arrival of the puppy and its mud, Jane seemed like she might actually be fun to be around. After all, a girl who didn't mind getting dirty was all right by him!
But then he wanted to name the poor thing 'Porter', which he didn't like for himself, much the less some hapless dog! He was headed to get the bucket, though, so he didn't have to answer that.
"Oh, but Mrs Chappel, why is Farley so Muddy, and where his Mommy and Daddy and... why are YOU so muddy?!"
"Ain't no Missus, just call me Addy." Well, that wasn't exactly true, but any 'Mrs.' was far in her past and had only really been for one night, and she had no idea where Dirty Dan was, nor what had become of him, and it wasn't as of anyone knew any different.
"As fer my tale'a woe, I'll regale ya with that once I'm cleaned up. Oh, an' grab somethin' ta put around ol' Farley's neck so he don't run off...I ain't chasin' him down again!"
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
"Ain't no Missus, just call me Addy."
Dressed like a man and covered in mud, Jane could cope with, but when the lady didn't want to be addressed with a respectful Yes Ma'am or Yes'M Mrs Chappel, the girl's mind was totally blown.
She nodded her compliance, and decided to avoid calling the wild woman anything at all if she could help it.
"As fer my tale'a woe, I'll regale ya with that once I'm cleaned up. Oh, an' grab somethin' ta put around ol' Farley's neck so he don't run off...I ain't chasin' him down again!"
"Oooh, good idea" Jane agreed, but actually, chasing after a puppy sounded like a good bit of fun.
The was a spare bit of thin rope lying in the yard so Jane secured it with her spare hand and then presented herself to Weedy.
"Can you tie this around him?" she asked. Boys were always good at knots, weren't they? - forever hitchin' things to other things and 'making things fast'.
Lugging a wooden bucket, Weedy was just getting to the outside pump when Jane approached with the puppy and string, making her request. It must count for something if Addy didn't want the pup to run off, right?
"Sure." He set the bucket by the pump -- there was a small round tub, like half a wine barrel, only bigger around, next to the pump that was used for holding water for the garden, or cases like this where it was just easier to stay in your clothes and let someone pour water over your head -- then stepped close to Jane so he could tie the string around the dog's neck.
"Now we got him good!" He grinned then stepped into the trough. "Hand him to me, then you can pour water over him."
Of course, it made more sense for Addy to get in and hold the puppy, killing two birds with one stone, but what fun was that?
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
Weedy tied up the makeshift leash on Puppy Farley with that consummate skill with knots that boys seemed to be born with.
"Now we got him good!" He grinned then stepped into the trough.
"You're getting IN?!" goggled Jane, disbelieving what she was seeing through her mud-splattered specs.
"Hand him to me, then you can pour water over him."
"Oooh, clever!" grinned Jane. She decided that Weedy wasn't just as handsome as anything, he was also as smart as paint.
She duly handed over the pooch and hefted up the heavy oaken bucket. She wasn't as strong as Weedy and her pouring of the water was less than controlled: it all came out in one giant tidal wave which bounced off the dog and splashed on the two young folks: the boy, the girl and the dog all got about equal shares of the tsunami. Jane screamed as she was soaked in cold water, and then laughed joyously, this was so much more fun than the vague 'romantic moment' she'd been hoping to share with her dreamboat.
"Ha ha! We're all wet and Farley's still a mud-puppy!" she laughed.
Farley? What sort of name was that? Well, Weedy supposed it was better than Porter!
He sputtered as Jane managed to get him wetter than the puppy, but seeing her smile and laugh so freely made him not really care so much! Besides, he was holding a puppy, and he wasn't about to let it go!
"Farley's a good name for him!" Weedy declared, his grin matching Jane's. "Just get him this time!"
"Knew a kid named Farley back home at Pigeon Forge," Addy commented, chuckling. "He had bright red hair an' freckles everywhere. He run off one day because he didn't like goin' ta school, an' holed up in a hollow tree, but come ta find out, there was a big ol' bee's nest in there. He come runnin' home faster'n a frog jumpin' off a hot roof!" She laughed. "Couldn't tell none how many times he'd been stung, fer all his freckles!"
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
"Farley's a good name for him!" Weedy declared, his grin matching Jane's.
"Yeah, I know" she answered confidently. All her former worries and frets about whether Weedy would like her or not, and how to meet him and start up a conversation, and what they could actually do together that wouldn't bore him, they were fall forgotten now.
"Just get him this time!"
Jane giggled and started to pump more water into the bucket. "He he, my Mommy's going to kill me when I go home all wet and muddy!" she said happily, knowing that as the 'little favourite' of the family, she could actually get away with anything, much to her older sisters' disgust.
"Knew a kid named Farley back home at Pigeon Forge," Addy commented, chuckling. "He had bright red hair an' freckles everywhere. He run off one day because he didn't like goin' ta school, an' holed up in a hollow tree, but come ta find out, there was a big ol' bee's nest in there. He come runnin' home faster'n a frog jumpin' off a hot roof!" She laughed. "Couldn't tell none how many times he'd been stung, fer all his freckles!"
Weedy and Jane, having fun with the puppy and the water were probably only vaguely aware that there was a grown-up talking in the background somewhere, something about a pigeon with freckles and a frog, but nevertheless, despite the fact that whatever grown-ups told you was never really interesting (just by dint of it being told to you by a grown-up) the girl turned and gave Miss Chappel a polite smile and a generic "That's nice, Mrs Addy!" as a sort of pat on the head.
Of course, if Weedy or another kid had told her that story, she'd have howled with laughter.
She turned back to more important matters.
"Oh no, Porter, he's diddlin' in the the trough!!" she screamed with horror and delight. Farley had, indeed, decided to relieve himself at that very moment.
Sit down, shut up, don't touch anythin'
Diddling? Well, Weedy supposed this was the best place, if it had to be, but he quickly stepped out of the trough and held the puppy over the edge as he finished his business. "Maybe he doesn't think he's wet enough?"
"You two..." Rolling her eyes, Addy took the bucket from Jane and filled it with water. "'Nough dawdlin'." And at that, she doused both youngsters and the puppy, then started drawing another bucket. This went over the children again, although she was mindful of Jane's glasses. The third bucket went over her own head.
"There, now, done!" She grinned proudly, then frowned. "So, um...did anyone bring any towels?" They couldn't go in the house like this!
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
It turned out Miss Addy was as mad as a box of fire crackers and by the end of the puppy washing, they were all soaked through, good job it was warm weather. Farley, at least had the expedient of shaking himself dry, Jane wondered weather to try that herself, but decided that the chance of her specs going flying was too great to risk.
"There, now, done!" the redhaired woman said. "So, um...did anyone bring any towels?"
"Oh... no" Jane replied, her finger going thoughtfully to her chin.
"How 'bout we build a Bomb-fire and dry out in front of it?" Hmmm, maybe that wasn't a good idea.
"Don't worry, Mrs Addy, Porter'll think of something. He's so clever, aren't you Porter? He's the smartest boy in the class." she boasted.
