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Sagas of the Wild West
Grin and Bear It — In-Character Archives

Grin and Bear It April 27, 1876
Complete
Where: Kalispell, MT | TOD: Afternoon

Sit down, shut up, don't touch anythin'

5'5
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:04 PM

Posted April 20, 2021 / Adelaide Chappel

"Well, so long as he's ridin' a white horse, I reckon there could be some quarter given." Addy shrugged, thinking that armor would be cumbersome anyway, and that she wouldn't want to be burdened by something that made it hard to function.

"Glad that armor ain't somethin' they wear anymore, although I'd truly appreciate seein' a man in it...an' a horse, too. Can't imagine how a horse can move in all that metal."

Her smile was a bit wistful as she added, "There's times I wonder if I wasn't born in th' wrong time an' th' wrong britches."

Miss
Role
Primary
Nickname
Addy
Birthdate
06/15/1847
Height
5'5
Hair
Auburn
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Clara Paget
Played By

6'
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:06 PM

Posted April 20, 2021 / F. Falmer Browne

Her smile was a bit wistful as she added, "There's times I wonder if I wasn't born in th' wrong time an' th' wrong britches."

F. Falmer Browne gave an indulgent smile to this but said nothing. He would have to admit to himself that when he had first lain eyes on Miss Adelaide Chappell, now sat before him in all the becoming trappings of a woman, virtually dressed as a man on her wagon-driving expeditions in and out of town, he had wondered. True, male attire was handier for her trade, but she seemed to go that way at most hours of the day, except for very formal functions like the Ladies (so called!) Society Meeting of this morning.

When he had lived in the vast metropolis of New York, that Sodom and Gomorrah of these disunited United States, he had seen two types of women dressed as men: the first were demimondes of the stage, who dressed as ‘boys’ in fanciful tights to merely titillate their audiences (usually successfully, Browne had to admit) with a well-shaped leg, and secondly, some women of the more bohemian quarters who dressed as men because, apart from their physical form, they were men, in their own minds.

Walking with a friend down Broadway, he had seen two such women, walking arm in arm, and his friend had remarked “See those creatures, Browne? Disgusting! God must weep when He sees such sinful animals on parade. The police should arrest them and some Judge put the filthy animals to hard labor on the treadmill.” Browne had, cowardly he now knew, consented, but really wondered if it was not God Himself who had played such a rotten trick on them. At least in New York, teeming with every nation and type under the Sun, two such ‘creatures’ might find each other. For any man or woman ‘that way inclined’ out here in a small town like Kalispell, such proclivities must result in a lonely and loveless life indeed.

Addy’s talk of Jay Ryker and their evident love for one another did Browne good to hear, despite a slight pang of jealousy: it meant that this lovely woman was not destined for a life of loneliness. There must be others in town, though, hidden and trapped in their unusual sexuality, who were destined to ever drink from the well of loneliness.

'Professor'
Role
Graveyard
Nickname
'The Professor' 'Farmer Brown' 'The odd Farmer'
Birthdate
06/03/1816
Height
6'
Hair
Grey
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Trevor Baxter
Played By

"THERE'S SOMEBODY AT THE DOOR!!!"

5' 6 1/2
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:08 PM

Posted April 20, 2021 / Jemima Wigfall

Montgomery the Pocket Gopher had proven to be lots of fun. Once out of his cage he had proceeded to run up Jemima’s arm and onto her head, and the homely looking girl had had to bend forward to allow Weedy to lift him off and give him a cuddle. Despite his vicious looking incisors, he never nipped at his human overlords, they who knew where the peanuts were kept!

Jemima had something else she wanted to show the diminutive lad, and beckoned him over to a glass tank, a miniature version of the one that Lamia slept in. She pointed to a small, anonymous looking spider in there, sitting grumpily under a bit of decorative tree bark.

“See that, that’s a fiddleback spider: they’re the most poisonous spiders ever. And if it bites you a great big ulcer grows on you and you die a horrible screaming death, foamin' at the mouth and blood spurtin' out of your ears and nose!" she said proudly, as if she were personally responsible for the tiny animal’s toxicity.

“And one time she escaped and we had to look all over for her, and eventually we saw her on the back of the Professor’s neck! And Mrs O’ screamed and near fainted, but I got a jam jar and coaxed it on in there and the Professor said I was the bravest girl he’d ever met!”

Miss
Role
Secondary
Nickname
Wiggy - only used by Arabella Mudd
Birthdate
12/25/1856
Height
5' 6 1/2
Hair
Black
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Jenny Tomasin
Played By

4'2"
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:10 PM

Posted April 21, 2021 / Weedy

The pocket gopher was cute, and it was fun to pet him and let him crawl up his arm, but Weedy abandoned that amusement as soon as Miz Jemima started talking about spider bites that could make your whole body bloat and then explode with blood everywhere! How amazing was that!

The boy's nose was pressed against the glass as he studied the creature contained inside the transparent prison. "How did he get out?" he asked, his eyes going (very) momentarily to the woman, then back to the spider. "Maybe he's lonely and needs a friend? Where do they come from? It gets mighty cold here in the winter, he might freeze or something."

Role
Secondary
Birthdate
1863
Height
4'2"
Hair
Dirty Blond
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Clay O'Brien
Played By

Sit down, shut up, don't touch anythin'

5'5
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:12 PM

Posted April 21, 2021 / Adelaide Chappel

"At any rate, if yer set on goin' ta Helena with me, you'll need ta pack a few things, spare shirt, britches an' whatnot. Can't bring too much, though, we ain't got much room, an' we'll hafta have room fer food an' beddin', feed fer th' horses."

She'd make a list, but Addy had done this so much that she had it all organized in her head to begin with, which helped since she couldn't actually make a list!

"Don't worry none on rain gear, I'll have some oil slickers, an' bed rolls, too. Mostly be sleepin' on th' ground under th' wagon, so th' dew don't settle on us." The trick was finding a high spot, so it if rained, there were no rivulets flowing under them!

Miss
Role
Primary
Nickname
Addy
Birthdate
06/15/1847
Height
5'5
Hair
Auburn
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Clara Paget
Played By

"THERE'S SOMEBODY AT THE DOOR!!!"

5' 6 1/2
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:13 PM

Posted April 22, 2021 / Jemima Wigfall

The boy's nose was pressed against the glass as he studied the creature contained inside the transparent prison. "How did he get out?" he asked, his eyes going (very) momentarily to the woman, then back to the spider.

“I think it was the ghost. This house is haunted!” Jemima informed him, with an air of authority. “Either way, he got out. Dunno why he bothered, he’s nice and comfy in there.”

"Maybe he's lonely and needs a friend? Where do they come from? It gets mighty cold here in the winter, he might freeze or something."

“He can’t freeze in here, Professor’s got a contraption which makes it always hot as Hades in the greenhouse. I sweat like the dickens when I have to work in here, I mean like great big wet patches under my arms, I have to go outside with my arms in the air to dry em off.” she imparted this information like it was vital for the lad to know. Then she nudged him.

“Hey, do you dare me to touch him?” she asked, with a strange glow of excitement in her coal black little eyes. “I dare you to dare me!”

Miss
Role
Secondary
Nickname
Wiggy - only used by Arabella Mudd
Birthdate
12/25/1856
Height
5' 6 1/2
Hair
Black
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Jenny Tomasin
Played By

6'
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:14 PM

Posted April 23, 2021 / F. Falmer Browne

"At any rate, if yer set on goin' ta Helena with me, you'll need ta pack a few things, spare shirt, britches an' whatnot. Can't bring too much, though, we ain't got much room, an' we'll hafta have room fer food an' beddin', feed fer th' horses."

After 10 years of trying to forget the ruthless businessman he had once been, Falmer Browne couldn’t help thinking of the possibilities than providing such fodder along the road might provide, then immediately scotching the idea – the inevitable growth of the railroad empires would very soon render the stage and the supply wagon nugatory, in the same way that the spread of barbed wire would soon end the dominance of the cattle kings and kill off the golden age of the cowboy and the wild west. Another twenty years and that would be it.

“Will we need to take some precautions against the weather, Miss Chappel?” he asked “I have observed the inclement nature of the seasons here, albeit from within the snug safety of a townhouse, with a warm fire in the grate and a hot toddy at my side.”

"Don't worry none on rain gear, I'll have some oil slickers, an' bed rolls, too. Mostly be sleepin' on th' ground under th' wagon, so th' dew don't settle on us." The trick was finding a high spot, so it if rained, there were no rivulets flowing under them!

“I must say…” beamed the old man, rubbing his hands together “… I’m starting to get rather more excited about the journey that I am, even, about the items that we are going to fetch! I will be able to look all those cowpokes and rough prospectors and trappers in the eye and declare that ‘Yes!, I too have ‘roughed it’ on the Great Plains! I have felt the dew on my face in mornings and rivulets of frosty water running down my collar and out of my boots before they join forces to form the great Yellowstone or Missouri!” he waxed lyrical: 4 parts inspiration to 6 parts Ald Smellie scotch.

'Professor'
Role
Graveyard
Nickname
'The Professor' 'Farmer Brown' 'The odd Farmer'
Birthdate
06/03/1816
Height
6'
Hair
Grey
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Trevor Baxter
Played By

Sit down, shut up, don't touch anythin'

5'5
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:15 PM

Posted April 23, 2021 / Adelaide Chappel

"All big, fancy words until yer lips start ta turn blue with th' cold an' th' tip'a yer nose turns white an' falls off!" Addy declared. Given a chance, she could give Jemima run for her money in the 'gruesome' departement! "Can't say as how many times I've had ta grow that nose back!"

With a grin, she tapped the freckled appendage in question, then laughed. "Next is a deluge so thick ya can hardly see, so ya fall right off th' road and into th' river...get washed clean ta Puget Sound! Takes three years ta get back home!"

Again, she laughed, then added, "Like as not, you'll get yer adventure, or just die of boredom along th' way. I'll be sure ta prop ya on th' seat an' get ya all th' way home, though, don't fret none on that!"

Miss
Role
Primary
Nickname
Addy
Birthdate
06/15/1847
Height
5'5
Hair
Auburn
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Clara Paget
Played By

4'2"
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:16 PM

Posted April 24, 2021 / Weedy

“Hey, do you dare me to touch him?” she asked, with a strange glow of excitement in her coal black little eyes. “I dare you to dare me!”

Weedy looked at the woman with a sly grin. He was a boy, and he loved challenges, especially when they came with a dare, and secretly he had the idea that Miz Jemima had touched the spider before, more than once. Maybe she'd even been the one to let it out?

"All right, I dare you!" Then he quickly added, "Then it's my turn!"

Role
Secondary
Birthdate
1863
Height
4'2"
Hair
Dirty Blond
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Clay O'Brien
Played By

6'
Posted Feb 04, 2023 at 12:17 PM

Posted April 24, 2021 / F. Falmer Browne

"All big, fancy words until yer lips start ta turn blue with th' cold an' th' tip'a yer nose turns white an' falls off!" Addy declared. Given a chance, she could give Jemima run for her money in the 'gruesome' department! "Can't say as how many times I've had ta grow that nose back!"

Falmer Browne chuckled at Addy’s whimsical tall tales, standard fare for amusement round a cowboy’s campfire but an unusual form of conversation in a middle-class drawing room. “Well, I must say that it’s grown back beautifully, Miss Chappel, I have never before beheld such a pretty one!” To be fair, the rough and ready frontierswoman did have a cute one.

With a grin, she tapped the freckled appendage in question, then laughed. "Next is a deluge so thick ya can hardly see, so ya fall right off th' road and into th' river...get washed clean ta Puget Sound! Takes three years ta get back home!"

The grey-haired man nodded wide eyed as if in a state of total belief. “Indeed?” he asked, amazed “Why if we float there together, I believe there is now a steam ship from Seattle to San Francisco, I should love to visit the Paris of the West with you.”

Again, she laughed, then added, "Like as not, you'll get yer adventure, or just die of boredom along th' way. I'll be sure ta prop ya on th' seat an' get ya all th' way home, though, don't fret none on that!"

“Well, at least after all that, I shall no longer be a Greenhorn!” Addy’s host laughed “I might not be quite alive, but I shall certainly not be a Greenhorn!”

There was suddenly a scream, but not a very convincing one, and then a laugh from the Greenhouse next door.

“Ah, I wonder how Master Porter and Jemima are getting on with Montgomery!” Browne said, jumping up in sprightly manner. Listening to all of Addy’s adventuresome, if farfetched travel tales had made him eager to get up and go this very instant!

'Professor'
Role
Graveyard
Nickname
'The Professor' 'Farmer Brown' 'The odd Farmer'
Birthdate
06/03/1816
Height
6'
Hair
Grey
Eyes
Brown
Playby
Trevor Baxter
Played By