Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
(This is linked to a now defunct thread and, necessarily, has a weird beginning)
The tryst had been disappointing for Hiram.
The room was uncomfortably warm for nine in the morning, humid and cloaked with an unpleasant miasma. Hiram, now spent, reached up to mop his sweating forehead with a shirtsleeve. The coffee on his desk had grown cold, and with bleary eyes, he watched his accountant put herself back together.
He didn't want things to be uncomfortable because of their tryst. However, deep down, he was embarrassed for himself. Through the episode, he was painfully reminded of his advanced years: spindly milk-white legs with dark blue spider veins which reminded him of a map of the Missouri River, an appendage which had neither the length or girth of bygone days, and the speed of a quick-draw exhibitionist.
He pulled up his britches and looped his suspenders over his skinny shoulders.
"Are you okay?" he asked the earthy young lady across from him.
Flo wiped the mess from her chin, for she was not so stupid as to have let the old man get the ultimate prize... not yet. She would hold out for a ring before he would get that lodging for his geriatric desires.
"Are you okay?" he asked the earthy young lady across from him.
"Of course, Mister Priest" she said with brisk efficiency "I am glad to have done my duty in relieving you of those distracting thoughts which might hinder the prosecution of our business." she said, clambering back into her dress.
Outside, Sally, hearing strange noises when passing the office, had listened, concerned, at the door. From the grunts and gasps coming from within, she had feared that Mr Priest might be having another seizure.
She knocked and called out the same words that Hiram had just said to his secretary: "Mister Priest, are you Okeh?"
There was a sound of a key in the lock and the door was flung open by a cross looking Miss Patterson Forde
"What do you want?" she asked testily.
Nothing daunted, the slim pot-girl pushed past the rather tussled looking taller girl and ran into see Hiram, who looked somewhat wan and puffed out.
"What's happened Mr Priest?" she asked with a concerned frown "Did you have another paroxysm? Would you like me to fetch your anodyne?" she asked, gripping his bony hand. "You mustn't let Florence over-work you!" she warned.
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
There was a sound of a key in the lock and the door was flung open by a cross looking Miss Patterson Forde
"What do you want?" she asked testily.
The unusually flummoxed Hiram Priest blanched at the prospect of being caught red-fingered and fumbled at his clothing to make sure all was as appropriate as he could make.
Nothing daunted, the slim pot-girl pushed past the rather tussled looking taller girl and ran into see Hiram, who looked somewhat wan and puffed out.
"What's happened Mr Priest?" she asked with a concerned frown "Did you have another paroxysm? Would you like me to fetch your anodyne?" she asked, gripping his bony hand. "You mustn't let Florence over-work you!" she warned.
Oh Sally, he thought with a thrill. The touch of her cool hand quelled his anxiety, yet it rekindled the feeling that she was at the root of his last great roar of winter passion before settling into his emeritus years.
"No dear. No. I am fine. It must have been...," his eyes searched quickly, "...the strong coffee I brewed this morning."
"Miss Florence was just helping me with some accounting frippery." And turning to his orally talented bookkeeper, asked, "Weren't you?"
Unbeknownst to those in the room, the horrifyingly brutal security man from the mine, Big Jim Henry, was lumbering his way up the stairs from the saloon floor and heading for his morning meeting with Priest.
"Miss Florence was just helping me with some accounting frippery." And turning to his orally talented bookkeeper, asked, "Weren't you?"
"Yes I was, and you are disturbing us - do go away, Sally!" Flo commanded imperiously.
The slighter girl looked unhappy, but giving Mr Priest one last lingering look of concern, nodded and left the room.
Unbeknownst to those in the room, the horrifyingly brutal security man from the mine, Big Jim Henry, was lumbering his way up the stairs from the saloon floor and heading for his morning meeting with Priest.
Sally, thinking still of Mr Priest and the strange Circe-like power that Florence Patterson Forde held over him, didn't look where she was going and, turning onto the top of the staircase, smacked straight into Henry, that horrible man from the business meeting with the horrifying visage and the careless hands.
"Ooof! Oh... oh I'm sorry!" the slight waif-like girl stammered, falling back a little from the big, bald brute who towered over her.
"I wouldn't piss up his ass if his guts were on fire!"
Unbeknownst to those in the room, the horrifyingly brutal security man from the mine, Big Jim Henry, was lumbering his way up the stairs from the saloon floor and heading for his morning meeting with Priest.
Sally, thinking still of Mr Priest and the strange Circe-like power that Florence Patterson Forde held over him, didn't look where she was going and, turning onto the top of the staircase, smacked straight into Henry, that horrible man from the business meeting with the horrifying visage and the careless hands.
"Ooof! Oh... oh I'm sorry!" the slight waif-like girl stammered, falling back a little from the big, bald brute who towered over her.
"Hey little lady," Big Jim said in his unique way of making everything he said sound nasty. "You're in an awful hurry, ain't ya?"
He smiled and nodded his head toward the saloon's office door, now soundly shut thanks to Flo. He smiled slowly.
"Is that old mouthpiece in the office?" he asked, thick thumb pointed in the door's direction.
Big Jim had no use for lawyers or judges or anyone else in a position of authority.
"Hey little lady," Big Jim said in his unique way of making everything he said sound nasty. "You're in an awful hurry, ain't ya?"
Sally didn't like Henry: she hadn't liked him that time at the meeting and she didn't like him now, he was scary and she felt vulnerable trapped on the stairs like this and started to back up.
"Is that old mouthpiece in the office?" he asked, thick thumb pointed in the door's direction.
"Old...? Oh, Mr Priest. Oh, yes, he's in their with his new secretary, Miss Forde." She didn't know why she'd added that detail, it just sort of blurted out.
She backed up another step "Sorry, I... I'll get out of your way" she offered, reaching the top of the stairs.
"I wouldn't piss up his ass if his guts were on fire!"
"Old...? Oh, Mr. Priest. Oh, yes, he's in there with his new secretary, Miss Forde." She didn't know why she'd added that detail, it just sort of blurted out.
"Oh! Yeah. Miss Forde. I remember seein' her yesterday. I don't know why she's wastin' her time being a secretary. She's got all the fixins' to be a regular vixen."
He laughed at his bon mot.
She backed up another step "Sorry, I... I'll get out of your way" she offered, reaching the top of the stairs.
"Wait, lil' lady," he said, reaching her with two steps. "Wonder if you could do Big Jim Henry a favor." He looked toward the door with a sly grin. "That old codger wants to see me. He said, "early". Could you stick your head back in there and tell him that I'm waitin' out here? I don't know how the old fossil would take to me barging in there."
Everything, and everybody, inside the office was neat and tidy and orderly, with not the slightest indication of the frenzied sexual activity that had taken place only 10 minutes earlier, so that Sally's new knock was not met with perturbation by Miss Patterson Forde, but only a slight roll of her eyes as Sally poked her head back into the room.
"I thought I told you..." Flo started, but Sally cut her off.
"I've just come back to tell you that Mister Henry is here" she announced.
"I shall show him in" Flo said, rising.
"Would you like me to stay when you conduct your meeting, Mr Priest" she asked the old codger whose, well, 'old codger' she had been handling so recently. She almost felt protective of him - no! - she DID feel protective of him. She wanted to stay and look after him with the big threatening Jim Henry in the room: despite their intimacy, she didn't know Hiram Priest well enough yet to know that he needed no slip of a girl as a protectress
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
"I've just come back to tell you that Mister Henry is here" she announced.
"I shall show him in" Flo said, rising.
Priest choked on his chaw. "That's right. Mr. Henry is expected."
"Would you like me to stay when you conduct your meeting, Mr. Priest" she asked the old codger whose, well, 'old codger' she had been handling so recently. She almost felt protective of him - no! - she DID feel protective of him. She wanted to stay and look after him with the big threatening Jim Henry in the room: despite their intimacy, she didn't know Hiram Priest well enough yet to know that he needed no slip of a girl as a protectress.
"That won't be necessary, Miss Flo. This is just a boring meeting about security at the mine. But please stay in the vicinity. I may need you later."
Jim Henry, not accustomed to waiting around, pushed his way past the ladies and stepped into the office.
"Dangle," he ordered the women.
"Yes," Priest rushed to add. He wasn't up to a verbal duel with Big Jim Henry. But once he was alone with Henry, he got back to his old self.
"I understand you knocked someone's teeth out at the mine last week." Hiram began.
Big Jim smiled slowly. "This room smells like quim," he stated.
It went downhill from there.
By the time the meeting was over, Jim Henry was admonished not to clobber any of the crew at the mine unless they threw the first punch. They needed as many hands as they could get. Then, to lighten the troubled air, they shared a snort.
When he was gone, Priest went to the door and looked out into the hallway to see if any of his girls were lurking around.
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
There was a clack clack clack of footsteps approaching, female by their timbre, but not as light as either Sally or Flo's, then there was a harsh cry of "Out the way, Baldy!" as the possessor of the feet passed Henry on the way up. The woman who appeared at the top of the stairs was instantly recognisable to the old man as Mrs Patterson Forde, the mother of the girl who had just been handling Hiram's affairs.
"I need to see you, Priest!..." she barked as a little, plump, older version of Hiram's secretary bustled along the corridor toward him "... in a legal capacity!"
She barged past him into the office and like the awful Jim Henry, sniffed at the acrid odor of sex, sweat and shame, and came to the same conclusion. She had more important business at hand than her daughter's honor, however. She didn't mind Flo doing Priest's accounts, but if it led to multiplication problems, well, that was the girl's own lookout.
"Did you hear what happened at the Pike place?" she asked. Patty Snr. was always straight to the point.
