Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
"I need to see you, Priest!..." she barked as a little, plump, older version of Hiram's secretary bustled along the corridor toward him "... in a legal capacity!"
The woman put Hiram in mind of the engine pulling the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad cars; everything but the belching smoke.
She barged past him into the office and like the awful Jim Henry, sniffed at the acrid odor of sex, sweat and shame, and came to the same conclusion. She had more important business at hand than her daughter's honor, however. She didn't mind Flo doing Priest's accounts, but if it led to multiplication problems, well, that was the girl's own lookout.
"Did you hear what happened at the Pike place?" she asked. Patty Snr. was always straight to the point.
"Should I have?" Hirman asked the bold woman. "I'm not the publisher of the newspaper." Priest was not used to being hammered away at like a petty thief on the witness stand.
"Would you care to sit?" he followed up with and pointed to a stuffed chair near the wall. "Perhaps you can introduce yourself?"
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
"Would you care to sit?" he followed up with and pointed to a stuffed chair near the wall. "Perhaps you can introduce yourself?"
"Uh?" queried Patty. Oh! Of course! Although she was the brains behind the concern that running the sutler business supplying food and grog to the miners at Priest's mine, she'd never actually met the feller and only knew him from afar.
"I'm Patty Patterson Forde, Florence's mother" she said coolly. in her own way, the dumpy little woman was as formidable as Jim Henry. "But I'm not here about her. I'm here about another girl. This girl was shot in cold blood by Barnabas Pike. Emmaline Pike shot her brother dead, too, from what I've heard. Apparently the boy deserved it, but the girl was doing nothing more than trespassing on the Pike range. I want you to help the girl." She didn't give her reasons for wanting to help this unknown person, but it was clear that she had no love for Pronto and his family.
"You know, this Pike feller thinks because he's a town deputy, he's above the law. I reckon he needs bringing down a peg or two."
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
"Would you care to sit?" he followed up with and pointed to a stuffed chair near the wall. "Perhaps you can introduce yourself?"
"Uh?" queried Patty. Oh! Of course! Although she was the brains behind the concern that running the sutler business supplying food and grog to the miners at Priest's mine, she'd never actually met the feller and only knew him from afar.
Priest sat across from her, his face now the picture of solemn jurisprudence.
"I'm Patty Patterson Forde, Florence's mother" she said coolly. in her own way, the dumpy little woman was as formidable as Jim Henry. "But I'm not here about her. I'm here about another girl. This girl was shot in cold blood by Barnabas Pike. Emmaline Pike shot her brother dead, too, from what I've heard. Apparently the boy deserved it, but the girl was doing nothing more than trespassing on the Pike range. I want you to help the girl." She didn't give her reasons for wanting to help this unknown person, but it was clear that she had no love for Pronto and his family.
All this was news to Hiram. He'd spent far too long in other pursuits.
"You know, this Pike feller thinks because he's a town deputy, he's above the law. I reckon he needs bringing down a peg or two."
He held up his palm.
"Now let me gather some facts: Barnabas Pike shot a girl who was trespassing. Sometime later, Barnabas's sister shot him dead. I would say that's frontier justice. Which Pike is the one who is Deputy Sheriff? And, in what capacity can I help "this girl" who you talk of? Who is she?"
The woman before him reminded Hiram of Queen Victoria.
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
"Now let me gather some facts: Barnabas Pike shot a girl who was trespassing."
"Cor-rect" Mrs Patterson Forde confirmed with a terse little nod.
"Sometime later, Barnabas's sister shot him dead. I would say that's frontier justice."
"And I would say you're not listening!" Patty frowned "Barnabas Pike hasn't got a sister... or well, if he has, she's not part of this set up. Pike has a wife, and she shot the brother of the girl her husband shot, see? It's simple!" She was wondering if she'd come to the right person here.
"Which Pike is the one who is Deputy Sheriff?"
"Barnabas Pike... well it wouldn't be his wife would it? Who ever heard of a female deputy?" she asked, starting to sound a little cross now.
"And, in what capacity can I help "this girl" who you talk of? Who is she?"
"She's called Cicely Lister and you can help her by suing the pants off of Pike... Deputy Barnabas Pike" she added quickly, lest they go through that whole rigamarole again.
"Shooting an innocent unarmed girl like that, it's disgusting!" she added, for good measure.
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
This woman may have thought she was being clear, but to one who was not familiar with the case of characters, her recital was confusing.
"Which Pike is the one who is Deputy Sheriff?"
"Barnabas Pike... well it wouldn't be his wife, would it? Who ever heard of a female deputy?" she asked, starting to sound a little cross now.
"I thought perhaps a brother or father or cousin," Priest countered, a little perturbed by the woman's gusto. How could she be the mother of the creature who'd so recently involved him in her intimate yearnings?
"And, in what capacity can I help "this girl" who you talk of? Who is she?"
"She's called Cicely Lister, and you can help her by suing the pants off of Pike... Deputy Barnabas Pike" she added quickly, lest they go through that whole rigamarole again.
"Shooting an innocent unarmed girl like that, it's disgusting!" she added, for good measure.
Priest stuffed some chaw into his left gumline.
"I will have to get my hands on an official sheriff's report about this. Maintaining such records are a State and County law. I'd like to see what was officially stated about this. And tell me, am I the first person you've approached with this idea of a lawsuit?
Priest settled into the stuffed armchair across from Mrs. Patterson-Forde.
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
"I will have to get my hands on an official sheriff's report about this."
"Pah! Report?! Don't you realise that the sheriff and the deputy are in cahoots? There won't be any report!" snorted Mrs Patterson Forde indignantly.
"Maintaining such records are a State and County law."
"Well, we'll see about that. I don't trust those two as far as I can throw them." the little plump woman sniped.
"I'd like to see what was officially stated about this."
Patty nodded. "Well, that can be your first job. That or find an impartial judge to review the case." she suggested.
"And tell me, am I the first person you've approached with this idea of a lawsuit?
The woman looked indignant.
"Well, of course you are! Mr Reeve wasn't in. Now, what's your fee for work like this...? I don't mind paying, as long as that poor girl gets justice." she declared.
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
Patty nodded. "Well, that can be your first job. That or find an impartial judge to review the case." she suggested.
"And tell me, am I the first person you've approached with this idea of a lawsuit?
The woman looked indignant.
"Well, of course you are! Mr. Reeve wasn't in. Now, what's your fee for work like this...? I don't mind paying, as long as that poor girl gets justice." she declared.
Priest smiled. "I understand your zealousness to make these men pay for their crimes. I understand," he repeated. "But let me tell you something about the law." He pointed to his chest. "Now I've been a lawyer and a judge, and also a town Mayor. So, I know something about the way these things should proceed."
He sent a stream of tobacco juice into a spittoon beside his chair.
"Now permit me to give you a little lesson in the law. In order for you to sue, you must have "standing", or locus standi. It means that you are required to have a sufficient connection to the harm you are challenging. You have to be directly injured."
He held up his palm in order to thwart any grumpy reaction.
"For instance," he continued. "You cannot sue the stable owner because he sold a sick nag to your neighbor. So, if the young lady wants to tussle with the Kalispell lawmen, she will have to file suit on her own. Does that make sense?"
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
He sent a stream of tobacco juice into a spittoon beside his chair.
"Good shot" noted Mrs Patterson Forde.
"Now permit me to give you a little lesson in the law. In order for you to sue, you must have "standing", or locus standi. It means that you are required to have a sufficient connection to the harm you are challenging. You have to be directly injured."
"Do go on, Mr Priest. You fascinate me." the woman said, perhaps a little coldly although she had to admit, this was the sort of legalise an experienced old bird like Priest could probably use to good effect, to bamboozle a jury.
"For instance," he continued. "You cannot sue the stable owner because he sold a sick nag to your neighbor. So, if the young lady wants to tussle with the Kalispell lawmen, she will have to file suit on her own. Does that make sense?"
"Hmm" frowned the woman "And how old does a person need to be to do that? This girl is a freak - a giantess, and about the fattest thing I've ever seen, but for all that she must only be about sixteen."
Address me as Hon. Hiram Priest, esq.
The woman was a tough old bird.
"Hmm" frowned the woman "And how old does a person need to be to do that? This girl is a freak - a giantess, and about the fattest thing I've ever seen, but for all that she must only be about sixteen."
"Well now," that changes the complexion of things, a little," ruminated Hiram as he tugged on his chin.
"She ought to be at least eighteen years old, though maybe in this town sixteen might do. But to make it more on the up-and-up, she needs a parent or a guardian -- a legal guardian." He eyed her sitting across from him. "Maybe someone like you if she doesn't have any living relatives."
"So, my next questions are, does she have any relatives in these parts, or would you like to become her legal guardian? I can do up the paperwork and certify it pretty quickly."
The morning was turning out to be an interesting one. One suitable for his new lease on life.
Oh dear, we're all of a flutter!
"She ought to be at least eighteen years old, though maybe in this town sixteen might do. But to make it more on the up-and-up, she needs a parent or a guardian -- a legal guardian." He eyed her sitting across from him. "Maybe someone like you if she doesn't have any living relatives."
"Hmmm" ruminated Patty.
"So, my next questions are, does she have any relatives in these parts"
A curious look passed over the woman's face, but then she firmly answered "No, I shouldn't imagine so. Apparently their mother resided in San Francisco and is now dead. The Father is unknown; although someone tried to get it into her head that she's the natural daughter of Pike himself."
His next question took her visibly by surprise.
"... would you like to become her legal guardian? I can do up the paperwork and certify it pretty quickly."
"ME?!"
She frowned and then asked Priest frankly "What would I get out of it? I've already gotten three sons and three daughters. I want to get rid of this one: she's eating me out of house and home!"
@[Preston[